We can overcome the most common obstacle to successful management and
communication by making one simple adjustment. Start shifting away from advice
giving and develop a curiosity about what and how others think. There is a world of
information you can access just by asking the right questions.

Once we make the choice to ask rather then tell our decision-making power will expand
by leaps and bounds. When we tap into the breath of knowledge others have to share we
also get buy-in regarding decisions because people support what they help create.

People generally take offense to being told what to do. On the other hand, everyone
loves to be asked for his or her thoughts and opinions. Many people in leadership
position say, "I don't have time to ask for the viewpoints others." However, if success is
truly the goal it is worth taking the time because coming up with ideas alone is time
consuming and never results in the best solution.

You can transform every conversation you have with everyone you talk with just by
making this one little change. When someone shares a problem or a need with us, our
first instinct is to give advice. In truth, what people really want is to be heard, not to be
told what to do.

When a person is told what to do they unconsciously hear they are stupid and can't figure
out what to do on their own. They my also hear that their problems are too big for them
and they need someone smarter to show them how it's done.

What people really need and want is to be asked what is going on inside of them. By
doing this the unconscious statements that's heard is that they are believed in and thought
of as competent and capable. Many of us have had an experience when our performance
improved just by having someone in our life who believed in us.

As we learn to ask questions we will be able to unlock information, insight, and wisdom
within our staff, friends, family, as well as our boss. We will be able to open doors to
inner motivation and dreams that no one else had been able to do.

Since leadership requires knowing what to do, when to do it, and how to bring the right
resources together for the job at hand, asking questions can have a profound affect on
ones ability to provide wise leadership. The more information derived from the people
actually doing the work, the more insightful the solution. Asking questions allows one to
clearly understand, identify, and direct.

How to Start Asking
• Have an attitude of collaboration. Attitude is a huge part of asking questions. If
an individual feels like they are part of an interrogation, they will display some
resistance. In contrast, if the questions are asked in a way that demonstrates a
desire to help, they will be cooperative in the majority of situations.
• Always be curious and open-minded. Learn to create an environment that fosters
free exploration. Keep your desire to diagnose in check. Listen for significant
information. When in doubt ask the individual to clarify. Don't react. They need
to know you won't think they are dumb for trying out a new thought.
• Believe in them. Have the foundational belief that what the individual is saying is
important and communicate that. Listening intently is one of the tenets of
believing in people. Suppose that they can solve their own problems and
overcome obstacles.
• Brainstorm all the possibilities. Begin by asking how, what, where, when, why,
and what if questions in the spirit of getting all the ideas out on the table. If you
cut off ideas before they're developed you may miss something important.
• Trust your intuition. Check out what you feel curious about. Ask the individual
what they believe the issues and solutions are. Ask about something that just
doesn't sit right with you. Notice and ask about patterns you see.
• Sort through the list of ideas and ask questions that define the benefits of each.
Separate the good ideas from the best ideas. You want to ask which ideas have
the highest future potential. You want to know what facts have to be uncovered
before the proper decision can be made. What are the side effects and timing.
How can the idea be tested? Is it legal, logical, and is there anything that needs to
be stopped in order to start.
• Finally, learn to ask open questions to get more information, what is significant,
what has been done, or thought of before. Check out the obstacles, fears, and
things that lead to the thoughts and decision. Stay open and let people fully
express themselves and you will move your organization light years ahead.