How Not to Spoil a Child
Think back to when you were a kid. You wanted your parents to buy you everything. Did they? Probably not, and you probably said to yourself that when you have kids you'll buy them everything they want. Well, now you are a parent and reality sets in. You don't want your kids to be spoiled, always depending on mom and daddy to buy everything for them. You don't want them depending on you the rest of their lives. Where is the responsibility in that? You also want to provide nice things for your children. You want to give them what they want but not at the expense of their good behavior or your personal finances. Where to do you draw the line? Where do you find the balance between buying your children what they want and spoiling them? You can teach your children sound personal finance principles and still give them what they want, but there are a few tricks to it.
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One of the first things you can do is establish a budget on what you will pay for your children's needs versus wants. For example, back to school shopping can be a chore or it can be an opportunity for your child to get what they want. Establish what your budget is for each child before you even set foot in the store. If they want the $50 jeans and you've established that you'll pay $20, give them the $20 you would have spent and allow them to make up the difference from their own pocket. They can get what they want if they are willing to pay for it. You've established before-hand what you'll pay for what, so if they want something different, they can have it, but they'll have to pay the difference.
This principle helps them look for opportunities to earn money. You can help them get what they want by extending opportunities to earn money. You can establish an allowance system based on performance where they get paid an allowance when they do extra jobs around the house rather than just their chores. You can also encourage them in entrepreneurship and help them start their own business to generate income. If your children really want what they want, they'll find a way to earn it. If they don't want it bad enough, they'll stick with your budget. You are still getting them nice things, but they decide how much they are willing to pay for even better things.
Really take a good look at what your children need versus what they want. It is okay to get them something extra special for special occasions like birthdays or Christmas, but don't allow them to set up the expectation that they'll get whatever they want. A child doesn't truly appreciate what she or he has until they have to work for it. You had to work for your money which you are spending on them, so they should work for what they really want.
It is okay to negotiate with your children for what they want. If a child comes to you with a proposition, listen to them. This is a fabulous opportunity for them to learn to negotiate and be creative. When children know that you are willing to work with them on what they want, it allows them to dream and allows you to get them what they want and be a cool parent while still helping them develop sound financial principles.
