How should I tell my kids not to use drugs when I used them when I was their age?
Many of us have made decisions that we regret. As we grow in maturity is becomes easier to forget our shady pastimes and move on. However, when the same temptations and pressure to succumb hit our children, you must be prepared to share your experiences in order to teach your child.
It is at a time when kids don't feel like kids anymore but still aren't quite adults, that they begin to experiment and push the limits. You and I may know full well the dangers of drugs and seeing the bigger picture. As adults, many of us can now understand the implications that trying something just once can have in the long term. Young adults and adolescence do not typically have a mature long-term reasoning ability. Therefore it is your job as a parent to instill the principles in your children that you know will be in their best interest.
|
|
Be honest (express remorse and regret for your actions)
Although it is regrettable that you made poor choices in your childhood and experimented with drugs, you can use your experience to your advantage. People are more affected when they feel like a story or situation applies directly to them. Hearing your experiences first hand is more real to them than having some advocacy group tell them what is best for their health. Explain to your children in detail how hard it was for you to handle the peer pressure and that you just wanted to fill included.
Sympathize with the emotional side of drug experimentation. Explain how you too had an attitude of, "It could never happen to me," or that you felt like you could try something once just to look cool at a party or to feel better about yourself. Explain how much easier your life would have been if you had made the right decision when you had the chance. Explain how quickly drug use can spin out of control and that at one second you can feel totally in control and the next second you can be sick, passed out, or much worse.
Openly talk about avoiding drug use
Although using drugs may be a difficult subject to bring up or you are scared to talk to your kids about such a sensitive matter, you must try. Children need to have their parents teach them about right and wrong choices. It is the parent's responsibility not to be perfect, but to do everything in their power to protect their children and foster healthy and happy development. Do not miss an opportunity to talk about drugs. It takes multiple discussions about a topic before it will become part of a child's long term memory. As a parent it is your responsibility to make sure that your child knows how you feel and why you feel that way about drugs.
Youth oriented websites
There are a number of youth oriented websites that may provide helpful information for both you and your children. The two links below deal specifically with smoking:
http://www.thetruth.com/
http://www.tobaccofacts.org/tob_truth/index.html
The biggest mistake you can make when you want to teach your children about the dangers of drugs is to say and do nothing at all. Even more important, you need to be acting as the example for what you want your children to do. If you yourself are using drugs there is no way your kids are going to take seriously the warnings you give them. "Do as I say, not as I do" parenting is idiotic. As a parent you are the one to set the example for your kids, because ultimately you don't want them to have to go through the same hardships that you went through.
