Enjoyment:

Most babies spend the majority of their time asleep or eating. This means that you are not going to bond with them the way you would with a buddy: over a movie, at the bar, going out, etc. Instead, to bond with a baby you start by simply learning to enjoy them, not what you are doing with them. They can't do anything, so if you think you can bond over a game of pool, you are wrong. Instead, bonding should be done by learning to enjoy your baby just for the little miracle they are.

It can sound like a lot of work to bond with a baby, especially because there is such a big deal made out of it. The reason is that bonding is greatly important, but it does not have to be difficult, and it should be fun. You enjoy people who enjoy you, so to bond with baby, and to help them to bond with you as well, it is wise to focus on the enjoyment you get out of them. Watch them sleep, listen to them breathe, laugh at their stubborn cries, etc. If you find yourself getting stressed out by your baby, instead of simply enjoying them, it is time to take a step back, and start again. There are a lot of simple pleasures to be derived from a baby. They are so new to this world, and are experiencing reaching milestones each and every day. Rejoice in that. Learn to appreciate and enjoy when they look up at you, or when they smile back at your smile. Your baby may not be able to talk to you, but listening to their little sounds and noises can be very enjoyable. Learning to enjoy your baby is the first step to bonding to them.

If you are having a hard time enjoying your baby because of the many other demands on your time and life, it is time to ask for some help, take a break, and just sit and hold your baby for a while. It is okay to have someone else watch your other children for a day so you can just be with your baby. It is okay to order dinner out so that you can spend the time you would have spent preparing dinner talking to and playing with your baby.

Individuality:

When you start to think of your baby as a person with their own preferences, tastes, and characteristics, that is when true bonding can happen. If you look at your baby as a lump, then it is hard to bond with them. However, when you start to realize that they have real needs, social, emotional, etc. and that they get bored, hungry, ornery, or happy for no reason, just like you, then you can start to better bond with baby.

Look for the little aspects that make your baby their own person. If you have had other babies before you may notice how your baby differs from your past babies. Those traits and characteristics, and those little personality traits and quirks they have when they grow up start when they are a baby, so watch for them, and enjoy them. Thinking of your baby as a person will improve your ability to bond to them.
?Bonding while feeding:

One of the main reasons people say that it is easier to bond with your baby if you breast feed is because babies spend a significant amount of time during their first few weeks of life eating. If you breast feed, then you will find that this is one on one time that really can't be interrupted very well, that allows you to bond with baby. However, you do not have to breast feed to bond with your baby. If you bottle feed, it is still possible to bond with baby. However, there are some tricks to improve the bonding process. One, is be consistent about being the one to bottle feed your baby. The beauty of using a bottle is that you can let Dad or anyone else feed baby if you are too busy or too tired. However, if you are always passing that responsibility to someone else, then you do not get to take advantage of that time when they are awake, to bond with them. So, even if you want to share the load of feedings with your spouse, be sure to have set times each day that you are in charge of feeding, and take advantage of it.

Make feeding one on one time. Whether you breast or bottle feed your baby, it is a good idea to take your baby into a quiet room where the two of you can be alone, and you can talk to, sing to, rock, rub your baby's back, etc. while you feed them. It is important that if you are trying to bond with your baby that you are not trying to do other things while feeding them. Multi-tasking is great, and you will feel nice and productive, but if you are making your phone calls, or watching television while feeding your baby, you can't be bonding to them. Babies do not bond to the person that feeds them just because they feed them, but because during that time they snuggle them, talk to them, kiss them, play with them, and connect with them. If you are not doing those things while feeding your baby, breast or otherwise, you will not bond well with your baby.

Bonding through talking:

Your baby can't carry on a rational conversation with you, but that does not mean they can't talk with you. Talking to your baby, cooing at them, and babbling back to them will make for great bonding. Just because your baby cant respond to you the way a talking adult can, does not mean they won't respond to conversation. Babies love, and learn and grow from being talked to. Talking to your baby, about everything is a great way to bond to them. If they whimper or cry, ask them what is wrong. They can't tell you, but it will help to connect you, and strengthen your bond.

If you want to bond to your baby, set time aside each day for talking to your baby. Talk to them while you change their diaper, while you feed them, carry them to your car, etc. However, in addition to that, sing to them, babble and coo at them, and talk to them while they play, or lay or are awake. If your baby is awake and you are around, talk to them. This means talk to them while you bathe them etc.

Bonding as a dad:

Dad's often feel less bonded to baby then mom does. Many attribute this to the fact that mom had nine months to bond with baby before the baby ever got there, and mom is feeding the baby, etc. However, just because you are the dad does not mean you can't bond with baby as much as mom does. If you are concerned about being able to bond with your baby, make a point of being at the doctor appointments so you can listen to the heartbeat, and see the ultrasound pictures. Be at the delivery so you can feel the bonds that are forged when you see your baby for the first time, and hear their first cries, or see them take their first breath on their own. In addition to that, make a point of spending time with baby each day. This time spent is how you bond with baby. Even if you only get to see them an hour a day before they go to bed, you can use that time to bond to baby. However, if you want to bond with baby you can't just hand him or her off each time they fuss or need a diaper change. Bonding to baby when you are the dad requires that you immerse yourself in their life, all aspects, and that you learn how to soothe, comfort, and enjoy baby.

You can take turns feeding baby, changing baby, and waking up with baby. Sharing the basic responsibilities of caring for the baby will help you as a dad bond to your baby. So, even if your wife breast feeds, ask her to pump so that you can occasionally handle the feedings. Volunteer to change the baby when you are at home, and take turns getting baby when they wake up, cry, etc. If your wife is going to breast feed, and can't or doesn't pump, you can burp the baby after the feeding, which allows you time with baby.

There are many ways to bond with your baby, but the goal is to see your baby as an individual, and spend enough time with your baby in all states of happiness or sadness, offering comfort, socialization, and support so that they recognize your voice, your face, and your heartbeat and feel comfortable and secure when you are around.