One of the things that kills our confidence in ourselves more than anything else is constant negative thinking. Reflect on your day. How many times did you think to yourself, "I won't be able to do that very well." "I'm a failure as a parent." "I'm a failure as a spouse." "If only I could be better." "I'll try, but I'll fail." "Look at how much better that other person is." "If only I could be like."

While you might believe that you are just thinking realistically, in reality you are only focusing on the negative and blowing it all out of proportion. Because you don't like yourself, you can only see inevitable failure. Thinking failure over and over again becomes a serious drain and will erode your self confidence more than anything else will.

Your first goal to build self confidence should be to start to think about yourself more positively. When you start thinking something negative, stop halfway through. Either move on to something else, or replace that negative thought with a more positive one about the same situation. Instead of, "My presentation at work today won't be very good," think "my presentation at work today will be alright."

2. Think realistically.

Do you find that you never live up to any of your expectations, and you inevitably just end up failing at meeting your goals? This isn't because you are really a failure, but it's because you expect perfection from yourself.

We are all human. It's time to accept it. You're able to see and accept mortality in everybody else, but you think that you should be able to do it all-be the perfect parent, the perfect friend, the perfect child, the perfect homeowner, the perfect employee, the perfect boss, all at once.

It's time for you to start to make more realistic goals. Admit the fact that you're human. Start to remember and be okay with the fact that you're normal. And then start to make goals that fit your mortality. Make goals that you know you can meet, like spending half an hour with your kid, one on one, each day this week; or preparing that presentation for work a day early, instead of the morning of or the night before.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
When you compare yourself to the proverbial Joneses, you're not really seeing another human being. Instead, you are comparing all of your faults to all of the imagined perfections of an illusion. You will never measure up, because you're not thinking realistically.

Instead of always comparing yourself, and using other people and what you think their lives are like as your measuring goals, focus on yourself. Think about what you would like, what you can improve on, what you can achieve. Then stop looking at other people. It's hard to begin with, but eventually you'll be able to see that you have strengths and others have weaknesses, and it's all okay.

4. Be brave enough to consult others.

Most of us think that we should be able to do it all, and we should be able to do it all ourselves. After all, asking other people for help is a sign of weakness, isn't it? Actually, no, it's the opposite. Asking other people for help actually shows that you are confidence enough to admit the fact that you can't do it all yourself. Letting other people help you means that everybody ends up better in the end. And it also means that you won't feel alone and stranded with everything that you have to do, and, let's face it, can't do on your own.