Personality Helps

The more rewarding you are to be around, the more able you will be to make and keep friends. Take a good look at your personality. Would you want to be around you or are there some things there that need to change? You don't have to be perfect, but you do need to be satisfying to be around.

Self-Disclosure

The first step to making and keeping a friend is self-disclosure. You have to get vulnerable and share some personal things if you want them to stick around. Becoming confidants isn't easy, especially since they could reject you as easily as accept you. If you think you want someone as a close friend, be ready to share your inner thoughts and feelings with them. If you can't be comfortable sharing yourself, you won't make long-lasting friends.

Listening

You have to pay attention to what your new-found friend has to say. They are important to you, so help them feel that way by being focused on them. You have to be there physically, focusing on them, and keeping eye contact. Don't let your mind wander, just listen and respond. The best way to keep friends is to always be there when they need someone to listen to them. We all like talking about ourselves, but we need someone to listen too. Be the listener and you'll make friends and keep them close.

Talking

You can't just listen and make friends though, you also have to respond. Your new-found friends are sharing information with you and expect the same in return. If the talk is unequal, then it seems as if the person who is doing all the listening isn't really interested. Share and share alike. Talking is how you really build friendships, so use it to your advantage and learn to carry on a conversation that you actively share ideas and feelings as well as the person you are talking with.

Respect

You must be able to respect your new friend or you won't remain friends for very long. They need to have similar values so you can continue to respect them. Friends have to be equals in what they do, otherwise respect is lost. If you aren't equal to your friend, you won't be close friends. Respect for your friend also includes being loyal and trustworthy. During the process of becoming friends, personal thoughts and ideas have been shared. You have to be trustworthy and keep their confidence as you would want them to do for you.

Time

Time is the true test of friendship. Your very closest friends you will gain over time. Sometimes it takes years to really develop the close friendships we all crave. Time tests the bonds and either breaks them or makes them stronger. Working through conflict and forgiving one another take time and confidence in each other. Take the time to cement a friend, and that friend may stick with you for the rest of your life if you will allow him or her to. Stand the test of time and come out on the other side with true, meaningful friendships.