Establishing good habits, how to
When you want to establish a habit, whether in yourself, or in others (like your children), there are some specific things you would need to do in order to do so.
Practice. If you want it to become habit you have to do it over and over until it becomes so, this is practicing. If you want kindness to be a habit, you have to practice being kind, even when someone cuts you off while driving. It is the practice of bad habits that makes them into habits. So, it works for good and bad, if you start consciously doing something, and you practice it, and do it often enough, it becomes habit, and you will do it without thinking about it. However, this is not overnight, or simple.
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Motivate yourself. Like stated above, it is not simple to practice something long enough that it becomes habit and instinctual. So, you need to motivate yourself to keep the action or characteristic up until it becomes a habit. So, remind yourself with sticky notes and verbal reminders from others. Get motivated however it is that you find motivation, but remember, habits are hard to break, and replacing your bad habits with new, good, habits, won't be easy, so get motivated so you can do it.
21 days. You have to do something consistently for a minimum of 21 days before it becomes a habit. So, if you want to establish the habit of always showing gratitude, you need to do so consistently for 21 days. Every time you break the habit, start over with a new 21 day cycle to reinforce the habit in yourself, and before you know it, it really will be habit.
Reward yourself. Getting out of a bad habit, and into a good one is challenging, and can be a little overwhelming, that is why you see smokers having difficulty stopping (besides the addicting force), etc. So, to help yourself stay motivated, and to help yourself establish good habits, you need to reward the good behavior. For example, if you want your child to get in the habit of brushing his or her teeth each night with out being told, then when they do so a few nights in a row, you need to reward them with a later bed time for the weekend, or something. You can do the same with yourself. If you are trying to establish the habit of putting things away after you get them out, then when you do so, give yourself a pat on the back. This can be in the form of a little something, maybe a snack at the convenience store, or a bubble bath, etc.
If you want to establish good habits, you have to set goals for yourself. How can you make something into a habit if you don't really work toward it? So, don't just say you want to do something, set a goal, and outline the steps to get there, then actually do it. Get yourself in line to make the choices that lead to establishing a good habit.
Establishing good habits does not have to be impossible. In fact, give yourself three weeks of hard work and you will find that those traits, actions, and characteristics you were trying to instill in yourself are there, and that they just need some reminding occasionally. Then all you have to do is brush up on, and remind yourself of the good habits you want, not start from scratch.
