The possibilities are endless; and that, more often than not, is the main reason for our downfall. Where to start? What to do? How can you be a better you, really? Sure, there are all these things that in theory you could be doing. But what are the chances really that you're going to start and stick with a teach-your-self Spanish or French program. What are the chances you're going to come home after an exhausting day and somehow change ten years of habit and pretend to be cheerful and talkative.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Realize, first and foremost, that you're not alone. We're all of us been in more or less the same leaking seaweed-ensnarled boat. We all have bad habits that have sunk their claws so deeply in we despair of getting them out. We're all jerks sometimes, we're all lazy sometimes, and the great majority of us who've attempted to learn a foreign language on tape made it halfway through the first lesson and changed the channel to something more catchy.

Improving ourselves, being a better you, being a better me, is an art of increments. Of tiny increments. By that I mean that to really change some aspect of yourself that you aren't fond of, or to introduce a new aspect that you are fond of, is not an overnight task. We all think we wish that it was, but if that were the case there'd be no glory in becoming better. The good news is that these incremental steps grow to energetic strides within a relatively short amount of time, if you're consistent in taking them. Consistency is the key to being a better you.

Here are some ideas to get you going:

• Sit down and make a list, not only of the lousy things about yourself that you'd like to abolish, but (a) of the things about yourself that you admire (and, that failing, because you're too modest, the things about you that other people have admired), and (b) the things you'd like to achieve in order to be a better you. Make the list as long as you want; don't feel constrained by practical matters such a time and money, etc.
• Now, go through the list and underline the lousy things that most depress you. A famous man once said, "Work on the weakness that's bothering you most, and forget about the others. Just forget them." This means, if you're an alcoholic and you smoke, get to those AA meetings and concentrate all your strength on defeating that urge for a drink, and none of it on defeating that urge for a smoke. Dividing your forces is a sure way to lose a battle. Once the first, foremost problem is well in hand, it'll be much easier to take on the second. Of the lousy things you've underlined, pick ONE that you'd like to delouse. PICK ONE.
• Regarding the things you admire, or that others admire, underline those that would seem to naturally counteract the lousy thing you've decided to change. Remember those things everyday. I may be this, but I'm also that, and that's going to help me stop this. Now, look at the things you'd like to achieve in order to be a better you (of course, by attacking that lousiness, you're already in action). Now's the time to be more practical; underline those that are doable in terms of finance, family and work obligations, etc. It could be something as relatively complicated as planting a garden, or as relatively simple as learning more about your country's history. The important thing, again, is that you don't expect to achieve either of these things by tomorrow. The garden's a good metaphor. With a garden, you prepare the soil, plant the seeds, water the soil, weed the soil, watch the seeds grow and tend to them, and finally pluck the fruit. It's no different with learning; it's a gradual, gradual process that, if you just keep at patiently as you would a garden, will inevitably bring delicious fruit.