What causes selfishness?
One of the first steps in beating selfishness is to first understand the causes behind it. Selfishness is typically a form of fear or weakness. Typically, a person who is selfish is afraid that by giving some of his or her time, money, or effort, it will leave them with less. People who are selfish are afraid of feeling like they are doing without, or they feel that by giving of their own time and means, it means less for them.

Overindulgence also causes selfishness. By constantly wanting more and never being happy with what you have, you come to the point that you are never satisfied with what you have, yet hold on to it.

How to beat selfishness
Obviously, selfishness is an undesirable and harmful thing. However, you can beat selfishness with a little work.

• Recognize it. It's never easy to admit to ourselves that we have a weakness. However, this is the most important part in overcoming it. Look at areas in which you have a tendency to be selfish, whether it's time (choosing to go to the gym instead of help your daughter with her homework), money (not pitching in for a friend's birthday dinner), or resources (not loaning a friend something of yours simply because it's "yours").


• Look for opportunities to give. Some people are just naturally unselfish and are always volunteering to help or do things for other people. For others, it takes a little extra work. You can beat selfishness by looking for opportunities to give to others. For example, you could offer to help your struggling neighbor by watching her kids one weekend. Or, when ironing your own clothes for work the next day, do your spouse's as well. This doesn't just have to be time or money, either. Look for opportunities to give praise. Tell your friend the outfit she's wearing looks great on her, or thank your spouse for helping with the dishes after dinner.


• Stop keeping track. You may give of your money and time, but if you are doing it with thoughts like, "She owes me $5 for that," or "I helped him out last weekend, so he needs to do something for me now" then you are not being truly unselfish. Beat selfishness by not keeping track of the kindnesses you do. Change your frame of mind to consider the unselfish acts you do as gifts, not loans that need to be returned.


• Work on your own confidence. Some people are selfish because they think by giving, they are holding themselves back. Work to improve your confidence so you can give freely without feeling like you're doing without.

Selfishness is an undesirable trait that can harm relationships and make you unhappy. And, to some degree, we all have a little selfishness. These are just a few tips that will help you to beat selfishness.