How to get motivated to let go of pretenses
Pretenses are ridiculous, especially among friends and close associates, however, we have all been raised to shield who we really are. The problem is, if we hang on to those pretenses, we can be in close relationships before we ever learn to let them go, and then we do not know how. The following are some ways you can let go of pretenses:
1. Recognize the benefits of dropping the act. It can be a huge benefit to you to let people see you for who you are. This means drop the act. Now you may at first only see the risk, the vulnerability. However, there are some huge advantages of laying it out there, and being just you. One such advantage is that people will set their expectations of you at levels you can reach. If you pretend to be wealthy and you aren't you will find yourself hurting when others invite you to do things that cost a lot of money. If you pretend to be smarter than you are, you may find yourself lost in a conversation above your field of knowledge. So, these benefits mean more comfort, more truth, and most importantly, never being in a situation you do not want to be in.
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2. Have the ability to be yourself. Too many people pretend to be something or someone they are not, and in doing so lose who they really are. Would you rather work on playing the part of the person you created, or enjoy life living as the person you are? If you let go of pretenses, and just enjoy yourself for who you are, others will do the same. You are the one who thinks you need to be someone else, not the other person. You have to recognize the fact that you want people to like you for you. Letting go of pretenses means being able to be yourself, and love being yourself.
3. Closer relationships. One huge benefit and motivator to help you let for of pretenses is the fact that it allows you to have closer relationships. People who have to play a role, or put on an act never enjoy the closeness that comes with honesty, opening yourself up to one another, etc. So, let go of pretenses and enjoy the bonds that you can create when you are who you are, and you accept others for who they are.
4. No act to remember, lies to upkeep, etc. If you can let go of pretenses you can be more relaxed and comfortable because you are not under the pressure of remembering the lies you have told, or the web you have spun. Pretenses is when you put on an act in order to deceive. It might mean carrying a Louis Vutton hand bag when you only make $20k a year. This would give a false impression that you are wealthy. This means that you have to keep up the act. When you go out with friends you have to wear the best clothes, eat at the best places, etc. So, you go into debt, have a lie to uphold, and an act to remember. This should be motivation enough to let go of pretenses.
5. You know people like you for you! One huge motivator for people to let go of pretenses is that when they do, and they socialize, they have the assurance of knowing that people like them for who they are, not for who they are pretending to be. If you never act like you have money, then you know people do not like you because of it. If you never act like you got a college degree, you know people do not just like you because they think you are so smart. There is a lot of liberation and feeling good in letting go of pretenses and knowing that people like you for you!
