How to stop yelling

Yelling is something that many people do without even thinking about it. But the reality is that it can be very damaging to relationships and can be the start of worse problems. It may be a sign of violent tendencies or just an inability to cope with difficult situations. There are many reasons why a person would feel like they need to yell about something, but there are also lots of reasons why you shouldn't yell to get the message across.


Yelling is something that can be very frustrating and very threatening for people in a difficult situation. It is particularly problematic with children and other people in a subordinate type of role. Many parents find that they yell at their children even when they don't really want to. Here are some steps to follow to help you stop yelling at your children and others.


  1. First of all, children look to their parents to show them an example. Children learn many things about life and the ways that are appropriate to act in life from their parents. There will be situations where friends and other outside the home will provide an influence as well, but a parent is the most significant influence on behavior and yelling at your children can be a very bad start for their lives as well. Children are always looking to their parents about what ways are appropriate to live and how they should react in certain situations.
  2. One of the main reasons why a parent yells at a child is because they did something that the parent didn't want. It may be surprising how often the child didn't believe they were doing anything wrong and in fact, according to the instructions of the parent, really weren't. If you want your children to understand you, it is very important to be clear with your instructions. When you tell your kids to keep it down, they may simply think that you meant they can keep doing what they already were, but just be a little quieter. If this isn't really what you meant, then you need to change the way you say it. Don't be lazy and just bark out instructions to your children and give them specific instructions with some logic behind them so they know what and why you really want them to do or not to do something.
  3. When a problem comes up, take steps to resolve the problem and not just to ward off the symptoms for a little while. Just because you can see the root of the problem, or at least think you can, doesn't mean that your child has the same perspective. They may not be thinking of the fact that you have had a stressful day at work and will likely have another stressful day tomorrow. They are thinking about what is going on right now and are much less concerned about what happened before or will in the future. Communicate to your child that you are getting upset and why. Why is a question that children seem to ask frequently and it is a very important question in their learning process. Don't hesitate to explain to your child why you are feeling the way you are and what that means in relation to what they are doing. They may not understand everything you explain to them, but they will know that you made an effort to help them understand before you got mad at them.


Yelling is something that many people do for many different reasons and it's important to find reasons not to yell if you want to successfully stop yelling. Look for the good in all situations and view every challenge as an opportunity to grow and you will likely find that you yell less and less.

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