Start with putting yourself in your enemy's shoes. What would make that person want to hurt you so badly? Was it for self-gain? Was it on account of them not thinking before they spoke or acted? Did I do something to hurt them and they are getting me back? If you can't answer any of these questions, it is time for you to ask this person why. Doing so is the hard part. Most people don't want to be the one to break the silence or to "break the ice". Once you can approach this person, do so calmly and listen. We all want to react and say mean and hurtful things to make them feel the way we do; doing so will only make the situation worse. Don't try to make your enemy feel as bad you do; they probably already do because they know that they hurt you.

The hardest step to love your enemy is to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is the easier out of the two, but still hard to accomplish. Do you have the strength to truly forgive this person for what they have done to you? Once you have accepted what they have done and know it was a mistake, you can truly forgive them, but can you let go of the past. Letting go is almost impossible for many people do, especially within a spousal relationship. Search in your mind and heart to forget. Hanging on the past will do nothing but hurt your relationship more and live a bitter taste about that person. It will also continue to ruin your attitude and eat away at you. Let is all go and don't bring it up again. Once you have done this, move on and love that person for who they are with no judgments in the back of your mind. Martin Luther King Jr. said, "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend."

Now that you have forgiven and forgotten, you need to repair your relationship. To fill the holes that were once there, find some common ground and common interests. Do them together and try you're hardest to find the good in the situation and in the person you want to be your friend again. Finding something you both love is the best thing you can do. You have many things to choose from, such as, going to the movies or dinner, taking hikes or walks, or even sitting at someone's house and talking. Be open and open your heart. This person was an enemy, you need to take the time to find out who they are now and let them know you want it to be better again. Be honest with your feelings and express how much they mean to you. A great way to make light of the bad situation you just went thru is humor. You don't have to marry your enemies but it will make your life much easier if you can learn to find ways to love them and get along with them, especially if you see them on a daily basis.

Do as Abraham Lincoln once said, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"