Religion and Relationships
Our value system is a big part of what helps us decide who we are going to marry. Where your religion or beliefs about God are prioritized in your value system may or may not have an influence on your decision. With the hundreds of different religions out there, chances are good that you'll meet and fall in love with someone who doesn't share your religion. Some couples believe that their faith and beliefs are the principal influence to the success of their marriage, whereas other couples maintain a relationship of mixed faiths and flourish. Couples who are considering marriage should discuss the role religion will play in their relationship and in the rearing of their children. Here are two questions to help that discussion go over smoothly:
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Question #1: How important is it that your spouse shares your religious beliefs?
A lot of people feel strongly that religious belief and the practice of it are an integral part of a successful marriage. Religion can be the glue that holds a couple together through times of uncertainty and upheaval. If you believe that religion is one of the pillars you want to build your family around, then it would be a wise decision for you to date and marry someone of your same beliefs and values. Having the same religious and spiritual beliefs are part of the criteria that many people use when looking for a life partner. Some religions even require that both partners in the marriage covenant be of the same faith for their marriage to be recognized fully or to be performed in their religious buildings.
Religion in a marriage does not have to be important though. There are other principals that help marriages be successful besides religion. If you do not care whether your spouse believes the same things you do about religion then you can set other guidelines for your dating life. However, if religion is more important to one spouse than another it may cause an issue, so the key to look for is whether you and your potential spouse hold the same value in religion. Where religion falls among your values can be critical to how smoothly your marriage runs.
Question #2: Does the person you are considering for dating/marriage respect your beliefs and can you respect theirs?
The key principal behind this question is whether you see past who you think is right and who is wrong. The idea that your spouse is wrong in their belief will only lead you to unhappiness. If religion has a major influence over what you do and who you are, your spouse should respect that and visa versa. In order for a mixed faith marriage to work, each spouse has to accept the differences in their beliefs and the differences in their faith. If you try to decide who is right and who is wrong in what they believe, you are setting yourself up for matrimony failure.
It takes a strong sense of self and respect for others to make a mixed faith marriage work if both partners are religious and worship separately. Even with marriages of the same faith, partners cannot be critical of their spouse's religious commitment or lack thereof if the want a happy marriage. If you cannot respect your partner's beliefs and are continually trying to convert them to your way of thinking, you're probably fighting a loosing battle. Your spouse should never convert to your religion just to please you or visa versa. This shows that the value you and your spouse place on religion are different. If your spouse decides that he or she truly believes what you believe, then that is a different matter.
