A Whole Person: Relationship with Self

The first step to having a fulfilling relationship with someone else is to make sure you are a whole person yourself. You can tell the whole people from those that aren't whole. Someone who isn't whole needs others to fulfill their needs. They need someone to tell them they look good to feel good about themselves. They don't set goals, they don't have their own interests, and they don't do things for themselves to be okay without anyone else. When you are in a relationship you want to be able to want the other person, not need them. No one likes to be in a relationship with someone who always takes and never gives. Relationships like that don't last long.

The first step to being a whole person is to know your self. If you really know who you really are, every part then you can be yourself. You cannot fake being whole. Get to know every part of what makes you who you are. You need to know and accept the good and the bad parts of your character, your emotional responses, and your physical self.

Once you know who you are, you can do things for your self that fulfill you. Every whole person has activities that fulfill them like exercise, reading, art, music, or relaxation. Whatever it is that gives your self back to yourself, you need to be able to do it. Before you get into a new relationship, be on good terms with your insides. Your relationship with your self influences every other relationship you have.

Don't do Rebounds: Allow Yourself Time to Heal

You know you don't like to be the rebound, so why would you put someone else in that position? It doesn't matter if you're the one who ended it or if you were the one dumped, there is pain and hurt involved in both sides. Give yourself time to heal once you've ended a relationship before you start a new one. If you still think of your old partner regularly, think about issues you had in the relationship, or feel pain and regret, then you haven't given yourself enough time to heal. A new relationship cannot possibly heal the pain from an old one; it merely masks it.

Figure out the Lesson: Don't Make the Same Mistakes

Each relationship you get into and have lessons to be learned. It may be a lesson on the type of man or woman you want to be with for the rest of your life. It may be lessons on how to treat others in a relationship. Whatever it is that you learned from the experience, really learn it and don't make the same mistakes. Each relationship you are in prepares you to be with someone forever, but you have to learn those lessons before you meet Mr. (or Miss) Right or else your relationship won't last long.

Don't be Shy

Once you've learned your lessons, gotten to know yourself, and healed from the pain, get out there and find someone new. No one likes to be alone, so why prolong the experience because of fear? Put yourself out there. Get vulnerable with people. Lasting happiness in a relationship can only be achieved if you first meet.