• You look forward to seeing this person on a daily basis
• You have not told your spouse much about this person
• You find yourself thinking about this person when they are not around
• You have feelings of guilt for your closeness to this person

If you are in this situation, it is time to seek counseling and talk to your spouse before you do something you will deeply regret. Take a look at your marriage and determine what it is missing. Obviously you are seeking the attention of this other person because you are not getting this attention/respect/love, etc. from your spouse.

One of the first things you must do is set some boundaries for your friendships with other people. Understand the boundaries for what is appropriate and not appropriate. An easy way to tell if your friendship is inappropriate is if you are closer to your friend than your spouse. You may feel like you are walking on egg shells around your partner because you want to keep your friendship from them.

When you are around your friend, make sure there other others around you as well. Sexual tension tends to build when you are alone with this person. Don't bring your home life to work with you. If you have a fight with your spouse, leave it home; don't tell your co-workers about it, this can lead to long discussions that cause you to believe your friend understands you better than your spouse.

Communication is essential in any marriage and emotional cheating will often lead to a sexual affair because partners simply want someone to talk to that will listen to them. Feelings of disconnect will occur when you stop communicating with your partner. Don't talk to a friend about your feelings, talk to your spouse. Your spouse is your best friend and its time for you to start treating them that way.

Most emotional affairs begin when you frequent certain areas like work or the gym. When you are with the same people for a number of hours in a close proximity, you are bound to develop relationships with them. People that start emotional affairs at work or the gym often have a sense of excitement to come to work or to go to the gym. This sense of excitement overcomes their hopeless feelings about the other aspects of their life.

If you recognize any feelings of having an emotional affair, talk to your spouse now. Find ways to help your marriage change together. The two of you may need to work on finding ways to rekindle what is missing in your marriage. Here are some tips that may help you stay motivated in your relationship and to re-build the love:

• Plan weekly activities that the two of you can look forward to. Since most people are seeking some type of excitement, planning something each week will help them stay excited about the relationship.


• Attend therapy to keep the lines of communication open.


• Find a mutual hobby like watching baseball games, snow skiing, camping, etc.


• Surprise your spouse with small things like washing dishes, taking out the garbage, etc. This helps to build appreciation, love, and respect and your spouse will start to do things for you as well.


• Stop talking to the other person. Break this connection as soon as possible and focus only on your spouse.