6 ideas for building a relationship with your mother-in-law
So you're newly married and there is a whole new family for you to get along with. There is a lot of anxiety that comes along with marrying into a new family, and getting along with the mother in law seems to be at the top of the list. You need to start off right, and to do so here are 6 great ideas for building a relationship with your mother-in-law.
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- Start an email correspondence. Email is one of the better relationship builders from this great computer age that we live in. You can discuss all sorts of topics. Often it's the perfect format for more sensitive topics for a variety of reasons. You have time to carefully think out a response. You don't convey emotion that can come across wrong. It's easy to avoid responding angrily in the heat of the moment. You can have an ongoing conversation that time wouldn't allow for in person or on the phone. You can save important details to remember later about your mother-in-law's likes and dislikes. Email can be a great way to get to know some.
- Call once a week just to chat. Come up with some reason so it isn't awkward, don't call at the exact same time each week, and make sure that you really do have time to talk when you call. You may even jot down a few quick things to ask to get the conversation rolling. If you see a funny license plate or billboard, call to tell them. Humor can go a long way toward breaking the ice and developing warmth.
- Ask for help doing something for your spouse, their baby. Maybe you're planning a special birthday surprise and you want to know their favorite kind of cake. Maybe you know that already. The point is to ask you Mother-in-law for some type of advice that makes her feel needed and useful.
- Plan a regular get-together for just the two of you. Make it a lunch date. Make it a shopping date. Try to find something that your Mother-in-law enjoys and make it something you two do together regularly. Regularly spending time together increases your friendship, and any good relationship must be based in a friendship. So, if you want to have a good relationship with your mother in law, start it out by being friends, just find one thing in common and expand on it.
- Make sure that your Mother-in-law gets some one on one time with your spouse. She will notice and appreciate your efforts to strengthen their relationship and the fact that you respect her relationship with her child. Some times the problems with mother in laws boils down to jealousy. They feel jealous that their child loves you more than them. Avoid this problem by helping your spouse show their love for their mother
- The magic touch - discuss grandchildren. Ok, so maybe you're not ready to have kids now, but if you approach the topic carefully it can be a conversation piece to keep your Mother-in-law happy for years to come. Providing her with a grandchild would be even better, but I guess that one depends on just how badly you want to build a relationship! Just be sure to point out that you will be the parent of their grandkid, and that alone is an important reason you want to build a better relationship with them. They will likely eat it up.
