Understand Each Other

Just like you want to get to know yourself, you want to get to know your daughter and love her for what she is. Her personality differs from yours and you may not understand how she thinks and operates. Spend some time getting to know her and allow her time to get to know you. Is your daughter reserved and shy while you are assertive and outgoing? Is it the other way around? Do you spend your "me" time alone with a book while your daughter would rather spend hers around other people? If you understand how your daughter operates on a mental and emotional level, you can be a more effective communicator with her. The personality of your child will emerge before she can even talk, so spend some time understanding her. You'll thank yourself if you do because if you can't accept the daughter you have, you'll never get the daughter you want.

Communicate Openly

The second thing you can do to build a better mother-daughter relationship is to communicate openly on a daily basis. Talk, daily. You may be busy, and so is she, but find time to talk and communicate openly. Don't lecture even when your daughter needs one. Lectures are monologues, meaning you are the only one talking and there is no real communicating. Give her a chance to respond and share ideas. When your daughter expresses ideas, opinions or feelings, do not judge them. They are her own, and should therefore be accepted as part of who your daughter is. You have the right to your opinion and she has the right to hers and most likely, they are different. When you communicate with your daughter, remain at peace in yourself. You can resolve arguments or differences of opinion much more simply and with less energy if you remain centered within yourself and at peace.

Expressions of Love

Criticism and praise are two things that as a parent, you will probably impart a lot. Do you remember your mother telling you to think before you speak? The lesson still applies when you are an adult and a parent. You must think of how you are affecting your daughter with what you are saying. Are you building her confidence or her vanity? Are you tearing down her self worth or allowing her the opportunity to change herself? Children, especially young children, can take criticism very harshly. If, in your frustration, you tell your daughter that she is nothing but trouble, you could be instilling a belief in her for the rest of her life that she is a bad girl. You don't want to deal with the consequences of that type of belief, so be careful of what you say. Always express your love unconditionally. Love expressed unconditionally will be returned unconditionally.