Never Ever Compare

Never compare your child to his father unless it is in a positive light. The problems that led you to be a single mom are not your son's fault. Don't allow him to think that by trying to measure him against his absent parent. If you don't love the father of you son anymore and you are comparing them, your son will most likely see it as a statement of how you don't love him either. The shadow of a missing father should never cast doubt over a child's self-worth no matter how rotten of a person he was. Build value and confidence in your son because of who he is, not because he is better or worse than his father. Never ever compare them. Let his father be absent and let your son be his own person.

The Role-Model

Anyone you bring home instantly becomes a role-model for your son. Be very aware of their values, mannerisms, and beliefs before you allow them to meet your son. This includes boyfriends, friends, acquaintances, or anyone else your son comes in contact with. He is without a father who is the biggest role-model in a young man's life, so he will be actively seeking someone to look up to and admire. Don't allow it to be someone you don't want your son to be like. Don't allow the people you do bring home to break promises to your children. The people you want your son to look up to are those that are strong, confident, respectful, and trustworthy. Those people should treat your son as you would treat him, with the utmost respect. Don't make excuses for them. If they aren't good enough to be your child's role-model, don't bring them home.

Respect and Love

A strong, confident, and empowered son can only come into being if he is allowed his own judgment and mistakes. Your job is to make sure he has the tools and self-confidence to make the right choices and to have faith in him, even when he makes a wrong choice. Teach him to take responsibility for his mistakes, to learn from them, and to move on. Respect your son as a person. When he is young, he will seek your approval. Make sure he knows he can talk to you anytime and about anything by being there for him anytime and not judging what he tells you. Guide him by love, even if you hear things you don't want to hear. You are a single mom and you don't want him to turn anywhere else, so make sure he can turn to you. Your love will be a guiding influence that will show him that he is responsible for his choices, that he can be anything he sets his mind to, and that he should be proud of who he is. You have to be the father and the mother, so don't let consequences slide. You must be the loving parent and the disciplinarian. If you show your love and respect for him, hopefully he will respond in turn.