A look at verbal abuse in relationships
Words can be very damaging, to both the speaker of the words, and the person the words are directed at. The problem with words is, they do not leave a physical mark, so many people are not as careful as they should be, or they think that if they say, "It's just words" or "I really didn't mean it", then the problem goes away. This is not true. Verbal abuse is a very real problem. Let's take a look at verbal abuse in relationships:
When you are in a relationship you are supposed to be comfortable, to feel loved, and to know you have value. When over time, hurtful or in play words begin to sink in and eat away at a persons' self-worth. If you hear something enough you may begin to believe what is being said, not realizing that it is a distorted version of reality. The problem with verbal abuse is just that most do not take it as a serious form of abuse even though it is.
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Abuse can be physical, emotional or both and it affects your health just the same because both can leave lifetime scars that will and can hurt you in both your personal and professional life. Words hurt too.
There is no real difference in how emotional and physical abuse affects the mind, body and spirit, the only difference is how it affects your body physically. Verbal abuse does not leave visible scars or bruises.
Verbal abuse is terribly degrading. It is the kind of abuse that can leave a person feeling un-whole for a long, long time. Often times verbal abuse is worse then physical abuse. Verbal abuse makes people feel worthless and over time they start to feel like they deserve being abused.
The old adage, "sticks and stones might break my bones, but words will never hurt me," is totally untrue. Ask someone who is verbally abused, they will attest to the fact that each hateful comment, each snide remark hits them like a ton of bricks to the stomach or to the side of the head.
In a relationship being verbally abusive or abused is unhealthy. If you degrade your partner, or tell them they are fat, ugly, stupid, even in joke, you are walking the line of verbal abuse. When they start to believe you, and when they start to feel bad about themselves because of what you say, then you have crossed the line. Unkind words should never be used, even as a joke, no matter who you are.
Verbal abuse is as serious in relationships as physical abuse. If you are in a relationship where you are being verbally abused and made to feel bad about who you are, it is time to get out. No one deserves abuse, verbal, physical, or emotional. Most people who suffer physical abuse would tell you that it affects them emotionally as well. Each punch might as well be the person screaming hate at them, and vice versa. Each hurtful word might as well be a punch or a kick.
Do not let yourself or someone you know be verbally abused, or verbally abuse someone they claim to care about. Words hurt as much as anything else, and it is critical that you do not allow yourself to become an abuser because the pain is not as obvious, or the results as clear as if you were hit, or did the hitting.
