Apologies for relationships that matter
Ever been in trouble with someone you care about? If you have known them at all the chance of answering yes to this question is inevitable. Most of the time is when you do or say something without thinking that leads to trouble in relationships. Often times however, simply saying you are sorry is not going to be enough to get you out of trouble. The fact is, you have to make sure that the person you are apologizing to really believes that you are sorry. If the person thinks you are just apologizing to avoid a fight, chances are the fight will be even bigger. So, it is important to recognize some of the things you can do to make sure your apologies have a ring of sincerity and work.
Let's face the facts here, one of the best things you can do to show you are sincere in your apology is to take action. This means doing what it takes to not repeat the mistake you made in the first place. If your significant other is mad because you forgot an important event or date, then you should show you are sincere by purchasing a day keeper and making a more concerted effort to not forget anything important in the future. If you find yourself apologizing time and time again for the same offense, this shows a lack of remorse, and in addition to that, it shows the person that is getting upset that you really do not care what it is that upsets them, or in other words, you do not care about them.
|
|
The next thing you need to do to make sure your apologies ring sincere and do not come across fake at all is to avoid generalities. If you know the exact reason the person is upset, then apologize for that exact thing. If you do not know why they are mad, then you really should try and find out the reason BEFORE you apologize. Just saying you are sorry without knowing the reason is not only insincere but also sets you up for repeating the offense. Do not be afraid to humble yourself and ask what you did to upset them, and that you are sorry you do not know why, but that you want to make it better.
The next thing you need to consider is that there are right and wrong ways to apologize, and the best way is always in person. Avoid apologizing by note or by phone if you can help it. This shows less effort on your part, and a lack of sincerity because you are not making a real effort to apologize. Take the time and effort to see them in person so that you can show how sorry you are and try to make amends.
When you give an apology make sure you do not place blame in the process. If you want to have a good relationship you need to realize that sometimes you have to apologize without getting one in return, and without them admitting their part in the problem.
Last, it is important that you do not wait too long to give your apology. If you waste too much time your apology seems less sincere. So, don't allow too much time to pass, but also do not try and apologize in the middle of a big fight either. You will need to smooth things over by giving them some space, but taking the time to make a real apology before it gets too late.
