Be a quitter
When you fight with friends or family, you are doing your relationship a huge injustice. This is not to say that difference in opinion never arise, or that you shouldn't have strong enough opinions to start an argument, but when you let it escalate, and put being right, or winning over the relationship, you often do irreparable damage. The following is a look at how you can be a quitter, but not in the negative connotation it is known for. This is an article about how to quit fighting.
Step one: Put pride away. The majority of fights in relationships, no matter what kind of relationship they are, friendship, marriage, siblings, etc. are not really about the issue at hand, but about the pride that is at stake. No one wants to be at fault, or be wrong, and so they dig in, and let their pride flair up, and a simple disagreement, or a conflict escalates into a fight. So, put your pride away. Recognize that having the relationship is far better than having the hollow satisfaction of proving that they are the problem, or that you knew better, you are smarter, etc. When you can learn to put pride on a shelf, and put a relationship, and the other person first, you can start to find that deeper, longer lasting satisfaction that is gained by having true relationships, ones that last.
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Step two: Admit your role. If you want to be someone that is a peace maker, and that quits the fight, you have to be able to acknowledge that you may have been wrong, or at least that you contributed to the problem at hand. No matter how much you were provoked. No matter how wrong they took what you said or did.
No matter how sensitive the other person is, you are a part of the fight, thus you have contributed to it. Until you can acknowledge this, you can't move forward and mend any problems.
Step three: Be sorry. You do not have to be sorry about the action you took, or that stand you made, or the opinion you put out there, but you should always be sorry if by doing so you contributed to a problem.
Apologies go a long way in repairing feelings and mending relationships, but only when they are sincere. You have to be sorry that the relationship was damaged. You have to be sorry that you played a part in that, no matter how small a role. You have to be sorry that feelings are hurt, even if you did not do so intentionally. When you are sincerely sorry that the relationship is strained, you open the doors for forgiveness and for acceptance of human error, and for repairing.
Be the first one to say "I'm sorry." Be the first one to let go of your righteous anger, pride, or indignation. Be the first one to realize that no one is perfect, and that if we want to have relationships we have to accept people as less than perfect. When you do this your relationships will grow and you will find joy.
