Being close to your brothers and sisters in law
When it comes to your own family it is easy to be close to your borthers and sisters, after all you grew up together. You have had many of the same experiences, and gone through the same trials. However, in some cases, forming close bonds with your brothers or sisters in law can be much more difficult. You did not pick them, or they you, they came as a package deal. You have not spent any significant time with them in most cases, and since you are married, there is a good chance you won't be getting to know them the way you got to know your own brothers and sisters---by living with them. So, what can you do to get close with your brothers in law or sisters in law? Try the following:
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- First, make an effort. It is easy to never put yourself out there, make plans or do anything to get to know your in-laws better, but it is certainly not going to make any holidays more fun. So, make an effort to get to know them. Learn a little about their life history, their likes, dislikes, etc. In addition, learn about their relationship with your spouse. In some cases it is easier to get to know them when you see how close they are to your spouse.
- Second, spend time with them. It is impossible to get close to someone if you do not spend time with them. So, take the time to spend the time. You can't just see them on holidays and birthdays and expect to get close. You have to make the effort to spend time with them outside of those expected times. Call them and invite them to lunch. Be sure you see them if they are in town and you do not live near each other. Be sure to call them with news so that if nothing more, they stay updated on the goings on in your life.
- Third, learn to appreciate what makes them unique. You will find that in every family people differ so much. You may really come to enjoy the differences you see in the various siblings of your spouse. For example there may be one you call for recipes, another you know you can count on to go camping, another who is handy and always willing to pitch in to help you move, fix stuff up, or whatever you need. You also need to learn what makes them unique in negative ways. You have to know who is easy to offend, and who is never responsible. You have to know who you can count on, and who you simply can't. Knowing their flaws prepares you for them so that when they rear their head, you do not lose the bond you have formed because you are blown away. For example, if you know your brother-in-law is reckless and careless, and not responsible, and you lend him your car, and it gets totaled, that could ruin your relationship. But, not if you know better.
Getting close to your in-laws makes married life more fun, and keeps you in the loop for the family goings on, so don't take it for granted, and work to get close to one another.
