Being honest with your children means better relationships
As a parent, sometimes it is hard to have a positive relationship with your children, especially as they get older and get a mind of their own. There are several things you can do to improve your relationships, however, one simple thing you can do to really make for better relationships is to keep your word.
This can sometimes be hard because there are always going to be times when circumstances make it hard to keep your promise. However, because of this, it is important to be aware of your choice of words, and to live consciously. If there are times when you can't keep your promise, it is really important that your child understand that. For example, let's say you promise your kid you will be at their soccer game on Saturday, and on your way there you wreck your car. Normally this would be totally understandable and your child would instantly forgive you, and the fact is your relationship would not be damaged. However, if you have told them hundreds of times that you will be there, and never show, then a car wreck is going to just be another excuse to add to the list. It will not seem as valid, and it will not ease the pain of disappointment. Do you see the difference?
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Do not ever make promises you never intend to keep, even if your child is having a temper tantrum. Sometimes it is easy to make a promise just to soothe a child, or get them to cooperate, however, if you make a practice out of this, you will find that instead of better behavior and a better relationship, your child will not trust or respect you. This makes sense. Do you respect people who lie to you? It may seem like not a big deal, but honesty with a child is always a big deal. Children have a great memory, which means that if you say something without the intent of doing it, they will remember even if you do not. Especially when they hear the words I PROMISE before it. Those words sound stronger than any other words in the English language to a child. So, if you want your kids to be honest with you, and with others, and to show you the respect you deserve as a parent, do them the same courtesy.
By being honest with your children, and by teaching them the value of honesty you are not only making your relationship with them better, but you are also protecting them. Your child will feel less vulnerable if they know they can count on you to do things you say you will. Your child will recognize when they are being lied to, which often means they can avoid abusive and inappropriate situations. If you make a habit of always being honest with your children, and not manipulating them, it will be harder for others to do so, including sexual predators.
A better relationship with your child takes a series of small things, such as giving them time and attention, as well as love, but honesty is a big part of this. If you are honest with them at all times, then when you explain danger to them, tell them you love them, tell them they are important, special, etc. they will believe you. This means more confidence, more trust, and a happier family life.
