First it is important to know when someone is using you, and when you are just being paranoid. Many people start to question their friendships when they see they are giving a lot and getting little in return. If phone calls are one sided, if you are always the one doing in the inviting, or if you start to feel like they only invite you when they need something, it might be time to look closer at the relationship. For example, if your girlfriend has parties and get-togethers and never invites you, but when she needs a ride to a pilates class or something, she will call you and invite you, then have you pick her up. This is an example of being used. A friend who needs rides because they do not have a car is not using you unless the only time they hang out with you is when they need a ride. You get that drift? So, evaluate your friendships to see if they are really using you, or if you are just feeling neglected.

Second, consider how important the friendship is to you. If you find that the friendship is really draining and you would rather not deal with being used at all, then quit answering when they call, and turn down invitations. However, if you still want to be friends, just would prefer that it be more genuine, and less about getting something from you, then you need to talk to them about your feelings. How you approach the subject of being used will be determined by what you want the end result to be. If you want to make them feel bad for using you, you would call them out publically. If you just want to stop the using, you ignore them. If you want to preserve the friendship, but stop being used, you have to talk to them.

Third, talk to them. When you talk to them about feeling used, and what you want start by explaining how you feel. Then back it up. Then offer potential solutions to the problem, and what you would like to see happen. For example, you might say, "I feel like you really do not care to hang out with me, or be my friend unless you need something. " Then give examples, "I only hear from you if you are going to be staying in the city and want to crash at my place." Or, "You only invite me to things when you do not have a ride, and know I will drive you." Now offer a suggestion, "I would like it if you would get together with me even when you don't need something. " Or "I wish you would call or email once in a while, even if you aren't in the area." This way they know what you want, and you let them know you are not going to be used.