To build close friendships, take a list of some of the qualities that you bring to a friendship. If you have lost past friendships, list some of the reasons why those friendships ended. Perhaps you need to make a few changes to become a better friend. Try listening better or stop complaining so much about your personal problems (that is what a psychiatrist is for!) Make a list of the things you need to work on to become a better friend and start improving yourself. Making changes to your personality won't be easy so you may want to consider professional help that can support you and encourage you with your commitment to become a better friend. Set weekly goals for yourself and adjust your schedule if you get off track. Remember to praise yourself for working hard to build stronger friendships.

Make a list of the people that have touched your life. Why were these individuals so inspirational in your life? How can you become like them and touch your friends in this manner? Spend time with your friends and have heart-to-heart conversations with them, this is one of the best ways to develop deeper friendships.

There will always be roadblocks in the way for every friendship, but don't let them get in the way of developing deeper friendships. When you have set backs like miscommunication, financial worries, and illness, make the first move to be sensitive to your friends' struggles and be supportive. Moving away from your friends can be difficult for anyone as most people lose touch with these individuals. To avoid losing all contact with them, do things that will help you keep in touch. If you have children, get them together for a weekly or monthly play date. Try going to lunch once a month and send emails to each other throughout the week. Instant messenger and social networking sites are a great way to stay in touch with others and to keep your friendship going strong even when you live apart.

It's rewarding to take the time to build deep friendships with others but there may be times when you have chosen the wrong people to connect with. Watch out for friends that become abusive to you by taking advantage of the friendship. Here are some "red flags" to watch out for:

• Your friend is constantly borrowing money or asking for several favors without returning them.


• They gossip about others and are known as a "backstabber"


• They tend to tease you and are not sensitive to your feelings


• They expect you to drop all your plans and spend all your time with them


• They are very needy and clingy to you


• They are dishonest

Friends should be there to support you and make you a better person. They bring qualities to your life that you may not have and this helps to enrich your life in some way. Seek out people that you like to be around and that you can have a good time with.