Building relationships by working on yourself
In order for your marriage or relationship with another to work out, you need to learn how to love yourself first. If you have self-esteem issues and other problems, you will have a hard time working on building a happy, loving relationship. Building a strong, successful relationship is a lot harder than most people realize. It takes a lot of love, patience, understanding, respect, sacrifice, and trust. Normally a marriage is built upon two people that love one another and want some of the same goals in life. A marriage is about a couple, not about individuals.
To build a strong relationship, take some time to find out who you really are. Recognize all the good qualities you can bring to the table and work on strengthening some of your weaknesses. Pick a few weaknesses and work on improving a different one each day or each week. Once you master it, move onto the next one.
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Be open to changing yourself. While this is hard to do, you need to sacrifice things in order to have a successful, happy relationship. For example, is it really going to hurt you to spend an extra 10 minutes in bed with your spouse in the morning instead of getting up and heading off to the gym?
Make time in your life for another person. We are often so self-involved that we neglect the people that love and care about us. Instead of always thinking about your needs and wants, make time for your loved ones, especially your spouse.
Date! This is an important aspect of a healthy marriage. You and your spouse need to spend time together dating. You need to discover some things you are interested in and just make time to talk to one another and have fun together. Set aside a night a week or at least 2-3 times a month to date your spouse.
Live in reality. A lot of marriages end or relationships fizzle out because couples do not live in reality. Stop thinking about the grass on the other side of the fence and learn to appreciate what you have. Not everyone is lucky enough to find a person they want to share the rest of their life with, so let your spouse know how much you appreciate them for loving you.
Think of your spouse. A great way to strengthen your relationship is to stop looking at all the little things your spouse doesn't do and look at what they actually do to make your life easier. Stop nagging and picking at one another and just be grateful for one another. Treat your spouse how you want to be treated. Do you want to be yelled at or belittled in a grocery store? Do you really think that behavior is becoming to your spouse?
Apologize. Saying you are sorry is not a sign of weakness. In fact it is a good quality to have. Even if you aren't in the wrong, saying your sorry will break the tension you may be feeling and you can start talking again and opening up about your feelings.
Love. The best way to become a better spouse is to love yourself and to love your spouse. Remind yourself often why you feel in love with this person and work on strengthening this love daily. Love is shown through simple things like holding your spouse's hand, touching their back, hugging them, kissing them, and being intimate with them. Physical intimacy is essential to make a marriage work. It brings a couple closer together and strengthens the bond you have with one another.
