Calling someone stupid
Being called stupid never feels good, but it is far worse if you are called stupid by someone you love, or that loves you. Being called stupid by someone you have a close relationship with is extremely difficult to handle.
When someone calls you stupid it can eat at your self esteem. It can make you feel lesser, or like you are undeserving of their attention. It is not a pleasant feeling, and can leave you feeling resentful and frustrated. It can cause a lot of problems in relationships, and can undermine efforts of trust and love.
The following are some things to consider when someone you know calls you stupid.
1. Address it. Make sure they know how you feel. Tell them that it is never okay with you to have them call you stupid. Let them know how it makes you feel, and what you will stand for, and what you will not. If you let someone belittle you, or call you stupid, and you do not do anything about it, you effectively allow them to call you stupid again. So, never let it slide, this is especially important if you do not want to ruin your relationship with the person. If you let them demean you, you will start to feel resentment toward them. So don't let them.
2. Ask them why. Were they kidding around? Were they trying to make themselves feel better? Were they wanting to hurt you? While it is never okay to let your friends and family call you names, they might actually have a reason, and knowing it can really help you. For example, maybe they called you stupid because you did the same to them. Often name calling is a consequence of reaction. So, you may find that you did something to them that they have been holding inside, and that was their way of getting it out. Sometimes they just think they are better than you, and have no regard for your feelings. If that is the case, it is good to know, so you can protect yourself from hurt in the future.
3. Find healthier ways to deal with problems. If someone calls you stupid they have a reason, and there are always healthier ways to handle the situation. So, instead of name calling, and demeaning others, one can approach problems with a better outlook. Maybe your husband came home from the grocery store and brought you cream cheese instead of sour cream like you asked. You may be tempted to call him stupid. A better option would be to sit him down and explain to him that you are tired of silly mistakes being made and that you wish he would listen to you more carefully. Let him know that you are more than happy to write things down for him if he can't remember them, and that you are always okay with him giving you a call if he is uncertain about something you asked. This will help you solve the problem, and will not leave the unhappy residue that name calling leaves.