The divorce rates in the United States have really sky rocketed, and now almost half of marriages end in divorce. So, with the new trend being to end a marriage, are marriages worth all the hassle? Divorce is often expensive, but it can be fairly easy to get one, especially if both parties are willing to end things amicably. So, why is marriage worth it? The following are five reasons marriage is worth it:
Question: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three years, and we are talking about getting married. He is wonderful, kind, caring, smart, etc. I find him physically attractive. He has a good job, and I know he will be a good provider. He is almost everything I want in a guy, but he does not have a romantic bone in his body. He has never once tried to surprise me, brought me flower, chocolates, etc. He scoffs at Valentine's Day and romantic gestures. Is it selfish of me to hold off on marrying him because I want someone who is more romantic?
Question: My husband has terrible BO. He does not have poor hygiene, he showers every day, and even wears deodorant, but he sweats a lot, and stinks. I think he has gotten used to it though because he doesn't even notice. The other day he asked me why I never want to do anything with friends anymore, and I was too embarrassed to tell him it is because of his odor. He works from home, so I can't hope a co-worker will clue him in. How can I let him know how much he stinks without hurting his feelings?
No relationship is without conflict. The way in which we handle these conflicts will be the defining characteristics of our personalities. Some marriages will endure harder challenges and this causes them to grow strong together or it forces them apart. Then there are the families that have large conflicts happen due to children moving from tweens to teens. No matter what, conflict is inevitable and we all need to face it sooner or later.
Men tend to cheat more than women do in relationships, and while women often chalk that fact up to a man having a stronger sex drive, and thus the need to fulfill it outside of their relationships, this is not always the case, in fact, it only accounts for a very small percentage of the reasons why men cheat. The following are some of the reasons men cheat, and how to avoid it:
Men and women want to hear different things in some cases, but sometimes they want to hear the same things. So, what do men want to hear? Try the following:
1. Compliments. Just like a woman wants to know that she looks nice, smells good, or did something well, men want to hear it too. Humans like to be complimented. It helps them feel better about themselves. It validates the thoughts they have. It gives them confidence. Do your man a favor and make a point of complimenting him.
Are you being pressured into getting married, and are you worried that you are not ready? This is a common problem. Pressure to get married can come from many places. Your parents may pressure you because they want to see grandchildren, or they want you to be happy. Your significant other may be pressuring you because they are in love and want to spend the rest of their life with you. Social or cultural pressures exist as well. If all of your friends are married, you may feel the pressure to join the ranks of the married crowd. If your culture, religion, or family tends to be married by a certain age or stage of life, you may feel pressured.
Men are in love with looks at first sight. While in an ideal world everyone would look at a person's personality, beliefs, morals, and other attributes, and not put as much weight on physical attractiveness, it is not an ideal world. The sooner women realize that a man is going to look for looks first, the sooner they find happiness in dating. It stinks, but it is true. So, quit reading books about love, quit trying to "figure men out" and start working on improving your looks. Sad as it is, this is the fastest way to meet men. Don't use the excuse of "I don't want a man who only likes me because of how I look." Because that is every man, at least initially. Of course men can develop depth of feelings that go beyond looks, but looks are the hook that first grabs them.
In dating, one of the things most people do not give enough credence to is the law of attraction. The law of attraction is a simple concept, which is that whatever you send out into the universe will attract corresponding thoughts, emotions, beliefs and actions.
Sometimes a relationship just goes bad. However, other times someone is to blame for it. When this is the case, the partner who is not to blame may want some retribution for the heartache, pain, and embarrassment they suffered because of the other person's actions. So, how can they get revenge?
Being a good wife to your husband can help your marriage be stronger, and the relationship work better. Also being a good wife will inspire your husband to be a good husband. The following are five ways to be a good wife to your husband:
Because men are not known for being overly showy of their emotions, it can be difficult to know what their emotions are, even love. So, how can you tell he loves you? Consider the following:
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you have never met? Some say that it is. Many would argue that you do not have to meet someone in person to get to know them and fall in love with them. Online dating is becoming a huge phenomenon. The whole world seems to be going virtual, but is it safe to do your dating that way?
Domestic violence in relationships is a very serious problem, and one that is often difficult to not just identify, but also to stop. Many of the victims believe they deserve the abuse, and are unwilling to "betray" their abusers or turn them in. Domestic abuse often goes hand in hand with emotional abuse.
Men sometimes make mistakes during sex, the following are some of the most common mistakes they make:
1. Being in too big of a hurry. Biologically it takes a man only two minutes to reach climax, while it takes a woman an average of twelve minutes to reach climax. If you want her to be satisfied, it is important that you slow things down so that she has a chance to catch up with you. This may mean using more foreplay, keeping your clothes on longer, or buying a product that will help you last longer, such as a desensitizer that may make that area a little less sensitive, so that you can wait it out. Just remember, just because you want it right now doesn't mean her body is ready for it right now, so be willing to put your urgency on hold in order to make it a pleasant experience for her too.
So you broke up with her and now you want to get her back? This can be a tricky thing to do as most girls are going to be wary of getting back together with someone who has dumped them. However, there are ways to do this. The following are a few tips for how to get her to want to get back together with you:
Many women want to know if men are capable of love. This is a much debated subject because biologically men are often considered hard wired to mate with any and everything. Men often struggle with emotion. Men often take longer to feel depths of emotion, which is why many people say that men do not cry. So, the question remains, are men capable of love? Or are they limited to lust and baser emotions? While this is something that can inspire philosophical debate, the simple answer is YES, men are capable of love. Whether or not they act on it is questionable. The following are some things to consider when it comes to answering the question of whether or not men are capable of love:
It can be difficult to know if your man is no good, or if you are just being paranoid about things, but the following are ten signs that your man is no good:
1. If he puts you down. One of the biggest signs of abuse is when a partner belittles or puts down the other person, especially if they do it in public. It is a form of control, where they make you feel so bad about yourself that you put up with things that a person with healthy self esteem would not.
We all know the jokes about marriage and the way that marriage absolutely kills off romance. You know how it goes: if you really, really, really want to destroy your romantic connection with the love of your life, just marry them and it'll be gone just like that! There have been countless TV episodes making fun of the lack of romance in marriage, countless movies about it, and who knows how many different comic strips about it.
However, your marriage does not have to be the death sentence for the romance in your relationship. There are a number of ways that you can keep the romance alive with your spouse even though you're no longer in the impassioned clutches of teenage puppy-love. Let's face it: marriage entails big responsibilities and the kind of day-to-day existence that can tend to shut down the special moments that we think of as romantic. But the key to keeping the romance alive with your spouse is to integrate romance into those day by day different things that you end up having to do together, like eating dinner and running the kids around on errands and those sorts of things.
Almost everyone would admit that having friends is an important part of life. Friends provide crucial emotional support, something that is part of the foundation of healthy adulthood. But the value of friendship may begin much earlier than the emotional support of a well developed relationship. Some experts believe that the single biggest predictor of a child's success later in life is her ability to make friends. In fact, some experts go as far as to claim it's even more important than IQ and grades. This seems to indicate that the value of friendship is far higher than most of us have assumed. Keep in mind though that almost all experts who study friendship state that what matters is not the number of friends a child has but rather the quality of the relationships. So knowing how important friendship is how can you develop productive friendships and if you are a parent help your child to do so as well? Here are some guidelines:
"Learning the value of friendship, and how that can help you make friends" »
Reasons a man never calls can be endless. Wouldn't you love to just get inside of their heads to know just what makes them tick, and why they do what they do? Well maybe you can. Wouldn't it be nice if maybe, just maybe, you could determine ahead of time, what kind of man you are more likely to get the `second call" from, and put an end to the dreaded waiting period woes, wondering why he never calls?
One important concept to know, when you are wondering why he never calls, is to learn to accept differences and be willing to make compromises often. Differences in reasoning occur, most usually, when the opposite sex assumes how and what the other sex should be thinking. Rather than assuming the opposite sex's thoughts and feelings, it would be easier to know, generally speaking, how the opposite sex thinks simply based on their gender. Granted, we all have different personalities, but problems arise when we assume that we know how another person is going to think based on your own way of thinking. After all, wouldn't it make more sense for a man to think more like other men and a woman to think more like other women? So, remember men and women, in general, think and reason due to their gender.
There are ups and downs to every relationship, but one big way to send your relationship up is to have a romantic evening together. So you want a romantic evening that's just right, but you need some ideas. Here are seven tips that can help make that evening the most romantic ever.
Divorce is becoming more and more common. The statistics are staggering and the effects troubling. It is somewhere around 50% of marriages end in divorce, and over 50% of those are between couples with children. This can be very devastating to children, and something that results in a higher potential of divorce in those children's lives later.
Because divorce can be so devastating to families, and have long lasting effects on children and future relationships, learning how to derail the slide towards divorce is so important.
Men and Women tend to communicate differently, this is fact. The truth is that the words and speech construction are the same; it is the meaning and intent that is different. Let's look at a few examples.
Phone communication
Men: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
Women: A woman on the other hand can spend two days with her girlfriend and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. The phone is a communication tool, but for long drawn out communication, or in other words chatting, gossiping, etc.
As is now well known, men and women exhibit quite different styles of talking. For example, women generally give more attention to the relationship aspect of their talk, men to the content of their talk.
One stylistic difference that stands out in conversation is that men tend sometimes to lecture rather than to converse, and to do so more frequently with women than men. That pattern can be a turn-off to both men and women because they come across as know-it-alls, and lectures don't give others much chance to talk..
Why do men do this?
Many men mention that they feel good "informing" others about important topics. They think they are being of service through their acts of enlightenment. Also, most likely, such demonstrations of knowledge show them to be well-informed, in the loop, nobody's fool. In the competitive world that most men experience, they get to be king of the hill - at least for a short while.
Develop your sense of humor by redefining how you react to things. Try these simple tips to get more laughter out of life:
-Look for the humor behind words, associations, and situations.
-Try finding the humor in life events that typically would frustrate you, such as traffic jams and slow service.
-Take humor breaks. We schedule coffee breaks and lunch breaks, try scheduling a humor break. Invite several co-workers to go to lunch and ask everyone who is coming to prepare to share the most humorous thing that happened to them in the last week.
-Share your humor with others. People love funny stories, cartoons, and appropriate jokes.
-Build a laugh library (i.e., funny books, tapes, cartoons, etc.).
There you are sitting alone on a Saturday nite, eating stale Doritos and watching old re-runs of Seinfeld you have already seen seven times. It would not be so bad except you have an itch, a sexual itch that is, in need of scratching.
You start flipping through your brain's Rolodex and realize other than the slightly creepy person in accounting who flirts with you, there are no real prospects on the horizon. Big time Bridget Jones' loser feelings start seeping into your every pore. Panic ensues.
Your mind wonders back to the sex you had with your last partner. Instead of remembering all the reasons you broke up, you start obsessing about their soft, warm body up against yours in your nice cozy bed.
Without thinking you pick up the phone. They answer. You try to make some small talk but it is of no use. You ask them to come over for a "drink". Both of you know that is code for, "let's have sex at least three times tonite."
Your legs raw from twitching they finally arrive. In a mad haze to rip each other's clothes off, there is little or no thought given to consequences. Your itch is about to be scratched...hopefully they will sleep over as an added bonus.
Sex with an ex. Good idea to keep your sexual juices flowing during the transition time, or bad mistake that will keep you messed up for a longer period of time. As every breakup is different, doing some analysis might save you heartache when your libido takes over your brain.
First know you are not some freak'oid because you want to have sex with the exact same person you spent days (maybe weeks) getting all bent out of shape over after the breakup. Sex can comfortably numb the I'm-a-big-fat-loser worries, pain and panic in the short term. It is convenient and semi-reliable.
If I could write a letter to men (not all men but many men) on behalf of many women, it would go something like this.
Dear Men,
Women want sex to have a beginning, middle and end.
In chick-language, sex is a journey, not a goal oriented destination. In guy language, sex always seems to focus on the middle part: she has an orgasm, then he has an orgasm and then voila, you are done.
Do not misinterpret, women love the middle part just as much as you. However, there is so much more to sex than having an orgasm. Gasp, yes it is true.
Here are some basic rules for the not-middle-part of sex.
While sitting at an outdoor patio with my guy pal, a good-looking lady sashayed by. She was nicely dressed and even more nicely put together. My friend remarked with obvious approval, "There is an excellent example of 'floating cleavage.'" Naturally I turned to get a gawk.
He was right. Her cleavage was in fact floating. Not jiggling, not bouncing, rather floating. (In case you have never witnessed this, the undersides of the breasts were immobile while the exposed upper skin was "floating" with her gait.) It was hard to deny, her cleavage was nice to look at.
Just in the nick of time my feminist side kicked in and indignantly I spat, "I thought you didn't believe in objectifying women?" A mocking smile curled around his lips and he responded with, "I don't. I simply like to admire the beautiful qualities of women."
Rolling my eyes, just about to blast him sarcastically with, "Yes, yes, I know you admire a beautiful woman with the same wonder you admire a beautiful car. If that isn't objectifying I don't know what is."
When he knocked the feminist-air out of me by stating, "Trina, you need to learn the difference between admiration and leering. I was respectfully admiring that woman. Not leering."
There's a difference? Well who made the rules? Because I still don't know the difference. Even though I have experienced both, I cannot express in words their intangible distinction.
Many a woman has recounted how a man undressed her with his eyes--besides making her feel terribly uncomfortable, it was downright creepy. Equally the same women said while walking past a construction site they secretly enjoyed the cat calls and whistles from leering construction workers--putting a bounce in their step.
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