Men and Women... Articles


Tips for keeping the romance alive with your spouse

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We all know the jokes about marriage and the way that marriage absolutely kills off romance. You know how it goes: if you really, really, really want to destroy your romantic connection with the love of your life, just marry them and it'll be gone just like that! There have been countless TV episodes making fun of the lack of romance in marriage, countless movies about it, and who knows how many different comic strips about it.

However, your marriage does not have to be the death sentence for the romance in your relationship. There are a number of ways that you can keep the romance alive with your spouse even though you're no longer in the impassioned clutches of teenage puppy-love. Let's face it: marriage entails big responsibilities and the kind of day-to-day existence that can tend to shut down the special moments that we think of as romantic. But the key to keeping the romance alive with your spouse is to integrate romance into those day by day different things that you end up having to do together, like eating dinner and running the kids around on errands and those sorts of things.

"Tips for keeping the romance alive with your spouse" »

Learning the value of friendship, and how that can help you make friends

Almost everyone would admit that having friends is an important part of life. Friends provide crucial emotional support, something that is part of the foundation of healthy adulthood. But the value of friendship may begin much earlier than the emotional support of a well developed relationship. Some experts believe that the single biggest predictor of a child's success later in life is her ability to make friends. In fact, some experts go as far as to claim it's even more important than IQ and grades. This seems to indicate that the value of friendship is far higher than most of us have assumed. Keep in mind though that almost all experts who study friendship state that what matters is not the number of friends a child has but rather the quality of the relationships. So knowing how important friendship is how can you develop productive friendships and if you are a parent help your child to do so as well? Here are some guidelines:

"Learning the value of friendship, and how that can help you make friends" »

Reasons he never calls

Reasons a man never calls can be endless. Wouldn't you love to just get inside of their heads to know just what makes them tick, and why they do what they do? Well maybe you can. Wouldn't it be nice if maybe, just maybe, you could determine ahead of time, what kind of man you are more likely to get the `second call" from, and put an end to the dreaded waiting period woes, wondering why he never calls?

One important concept to know, when you are wondering why he never calls, is to learn to accept differences and be willing to make compromises often. Differences in reasoning occur, most usually, when the opposite sex assumes how and what the other sex should be thinking. Rather than assuming the opposite sex's thoughts and feelings, it would be easier to know, generally speaking, how the opposite sex thinks simply based on their gender. Granted, we all have different personalities, but problems arise when we assume that we know how another person is going to think based on your own way of thinking. After all, wouldn't it make more sense for a man to think more like other men and a woman to think more like other women? So, remember men and women, in general, think and reason due to their gender.

"Reasons he never calls" »

7 tips for making a romantic evening

There are ups and downs to every relationship, but one big way to send your relationship up is to have a romantic evening together. So you want a romantic evening that's just right, but you need some ideas. Here are seven tips that can help make that evening the most romantic ever.

1. Make it a date. Do it right, make it official. Ask your loved one out on a date; let them know enough about what's planned to wear the right clothes. It's quite uncomfortable to show up for mini golf in an evening dress and heels, and it doesn't feel quite right to be at a fancy restaurant in jeans. If they feel comfortable in the setting, they'll relax, laugh easier, and be in a better mood for romance.

"7 tips for making a romantic evening" »

How to derail the slide towards divorce

Divorce is becoming more and more common. The statistics are staggering and the effects troubling. It is somewhere around 50% of marriages end in divorce, and over 50% of those are between couples with children. This can be very devastating to children, and something that results in a higher potential of divorce in those children's lives later.

Because divorce can be so devastating to families, and have long lasting effects on children and future relationships, learning how to derail the slide towards divorce is so important.

"How to derail the slide towards divorce" »

Communication styles, men vs. women

Men and Women tend to communicate differently, this is fact. The truth is that the words and speech construction are the same; it is the meaning and intent that is different. Let's look at a few examples.

Phone communication
Men: Men see the telephone as a communication tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other people.
Women: A woman on the other hand can spend two days with her girlfriend and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours. The phone is a communication tool, but for long drawn out communication, or in other words chatting, gossiping, etc.

"Communication styles, men vs. women" »

Male Pattern Talking

As is now well known, men and women exhibit quite different
styles of talking. For example, women generally give more attention
to the relationship aspect of their talk, men to the content of their talk.

One stylistic difference that stands out in conversation is that men
tend sometimes to lecture rather than to converse, and to do so more
frequently with women than men. That pattern can be a turn-off to
both men and women because they come across as know-it-alls, and
lectures don't give others much chance to talk..

Why do men do this?

Many men mention that they feel good "informing" others about
important topics. They think they are being of service through their acts
of enlightenment. Also, most likely, such demonstrations of knowledge
show them to be well-informed, in the loop, nobody's fool. In the
competitive world that most men experience, they get to be king of the
hill - at least for a short while.

"Male Pattern Talking" »

Refurbish Your Sense of Humor

Develop your sense of humor by redefining how you react to things. Try these simple tips to get more laughter out of life:

-Look for the humor behind words, associations, and situations.

-Try finding the humor in life events that typically would frustrate you, such as traffic jams and slow service.

-Take humor breaks. We schedule coffee breaks and lunch breaks, try scheduling a humor break. Invite several co-workers to go to lunch and ask everyone who is coming to prepare to share the most humorous thing that happened to them in the last week.

-Share your humor with others. People love funny stories, cartoons, and appropriate jokes.

-Build a laugh library (i.e., funny books, tapes, cartoons, etc.).

"Refurbish Your Sense of Humor" »

Sex With An Ex

There you are sitting alone on a Saturday nite, eating stale Doritos and watching old re-runs of Seinfeld you have already seen seven times. It would not be so bad except you have an itch, a sexual itch that is, in need of scratching.

You start flipping through your brain's Rolodex and realize other than the slightly creepy person in accounting who flirts with you, there are no real prospects on the horizon. Big time Bridget Jones' loser feelings start seeping into your every pore. Panic ensues.

Your mind wonders back to the sex you had with your last partner. Instead of remembering all the reasons you broke up, you start obsessing about their soft, warm body up against yours in your nice cozy bed.

Without thinking you pick up the phone. They answer. You try to make some small talk but it is of no use. You ask them to come over for a "drink". Both of you know that is code for, "let's have sex at least three times tonite."

Your legs raw from twitching they finally arrive. In a mad haze to rip each other's clothes off, there is little or no thought given to consequences. Your itch is about to be scratched...hopefully they will sleep over as an added bonus.

Sex with an ex. Good idea to keep your sexual juices flowing during the transition time, or bad mistake that will keep you messed up for a longer period of time. As every breakup is different, doing some analysis might save you heartache when your libido takes over your brain.

First know you are not some freak'oid because you want to have sex with the exact same person you spent days (maybe weeks) getting all bent out of shape over after the breakup. Sex can comfortably numb the I'm-a-big-fat-loser worries, pain and panic in the short term. It is convenient and semi-reliable.

"Sex With An Ex" »

Letter to Men About Sex

If I could write a letter to men (not all men but many men) on behalf of many women, it would go something like this.


Dear Men,


Women want sex to have a beginning, middle and end.


In chick-language, sex is a journey, not a goal oriented destination. In guy language, sex always seems to focus on the middle part: she has an orgasm, then he has an orgasm and then voila, you are done.


Do not misinterpret, women love the middle part just as much as you. However, there is so much more to sex than having an orgasm. Gasp, yes it is true.


Here are some basic rules for the not-middle-part of sex.

"Letter to Men About Sex" »

Floating Cleavage: To Stare or Not to Stare

While sitting at an outdoor patio with my guy pal, a good-looking lady sashayed by. She was nicely dressed and even more nicely put together. My friend remarked with obvious approval, "There is an excellent example of 'floating cleavage.'" Naturally I turned to get a gawk.

He was right. Her cleavage was in fact floating. Not jiggling, not bouncing, rather floating. (In case you have never witnessed this, the undersides of the breasts were immobile while the exposed upper skin was "floating" with her gait.) It was hard to deny, her cleavage was nice to look at.

Just in the nick of time my feminist side kicked in and indignantly I spat, "I thought you didn't believe in objectifying women?" A mocking smile curled around his lips and he responded with, "I don't. I simply like to admire the beautiful qualities of women."

Rolling my eyes, just about to blast him sarcastically with, "Yes, yes, I know you admire a beautiful woman with the same wonder you admire a beautiful car. If that isn't objectifying I don't know what is."

When he knocked the feminist-air out of me by stating, "Trina, you need to learn the difference between admiration and leering. I was respectfully admiring that woman. Not leering."

There's a difference? Well who made the rules? Because I still don't know the difference. Even though I have experienced both, I cannot express in words their intangible distinction.

Many a woman has recounted how a man undressed her with his eyes--besides making her feel terribly uncomfortable, it was downright creepy. Equally the same women said while walking past a construction site they secretly enjoyed the cat calls and whistles from leering construction workers--putting a bounce in their step.

"Floating Cleavage: To Stare or Not to Stare" »

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