The idea that the simple things matter in love and marriage is in no way new, novel, or unheard of. However, it is too often unpracticed. As people settle into marriages, and grow more comfortable with their spouse, the little things are often some of the first things to go. Happy love lives, and happy marriages take a lot of things, but one such thing is that the small gestures are not forgotten.
If you have ever had a relationship problem, you can probably relate to the fact that money often plays a role in the bumps and pot holes of a relationship. Money has a way of getting to people, stressing them out, and making them behave in ways they wouldn't otherwise. So, if you are in a relationship and want to avoid problems caused by money, try the following three things:
We all have work, and we all have family, and on their own they can be wonderful. However, sometimes mixing the two can be a nightmare. Most people would caution against working with family. However, there are ways to make it work. Just as any relationship, you can make a working relationship work with family, as long as you follow some rules of conduct. Consider the following:
Money has a way of causing problems in families. It brings out the bad and good in people. It either shows generosity, or stinginess. It can lead to resentment, or gratitude. Money in families has more potential for problems than it should. The following are a few examples of how it can be problematic, and how to avoid money problems in your family.
Loaning money to family spells trouble. The fact is, most people agree that while you may have a decent experience with loaning money to family, it is really never a good idea. Money has the power to get in the way of good relationships. It can cause resentment if it is not paid back. It can cause guilt that leads to isolating yourself because you aren't paying someone back, etc. So, with that said, the following are a few rules for loaning money to family.
When it comes to resentment that you hold towards other people or that other people hold toward us, there are some main causes of resentment. The main causes of resentment always revolve around our ego and our minds attempt to protect ourselves from being hurt. Resentment relates to the ego because when our ego gets hurt the first thing we think about is defending ourselves to help preserve ourselves. Resentment always becomes a bigger problem than we expected, especially when it starts to threaten your family relationships.
"When your family relationships are threatened due to resentment" »
Most people have heard the catchphrase "keeping up with the Joneses," which means trying to match your lifestyle and accumulation of material things with your friends and neighbors, even if it means living beyond your means.
"Keeping up with the Joneses can ruin your relationship with the Joneses" »
Question: My friend is a really thoughtful person, but she is also a huge mooch, and it is so annoying. She is constantly "forgetting her wallet" or saying that she "will get me next time". Sometimes we go out to eat, and she doesn't order, and then she wants to take my leftovers home, or asks for bites from everyone. She never chips in for gas. We rent movies a lot, and she never pays to rent it, and everyone usually brings snacks, but she never contributes. I enjoy her company, but I am sick of always footing the bill. It isn't just money. She always wants to borrow my clothes, and she forgets to return them. How can I get her to stop mooching?
Weddings are very exciting for the happy couple and also for all the guests that will be attending the event and doting on the bride and groom. Many gifts and greetings are exchanged during the course of bridal showers, receptions and housewarming gifts and many newlyweds look forward to the things that their friends and family will be gifting to them. But there is another aspect of wedding gift giving that some people are less likely to appreciate or enjoy and it is wedding gift one-uppence.
If you are married (or have ever been married), the phrase "ungrateful spouse" can pack a real punch. Even the happiest of couples have these types of feelings from time to time. No doubt in any relationship there will be times when the "give and take" of a happy marriage falls out of balance. Some people just stay in "take" mode a little longer than the "giving" partner would prefer. Generally, the intent of one spouse is not to be ungrateful of the other spouse, communication and having an attitude of understanding are two key elements to ensuring that feelings of being unappreciated or undervalued stay in check.
With an ever tightening economy many families are finding themselves deep in debt with shaky job prospects and the stress is running over into their families. Today's families already face mounting pressures but along with financial stress the ties that bind families together can be weakened considerably. Adults may find themselves so overwhelmed with trying to deal with financial pressures that they neglect to nurture the family unit. Children may not fully understand what is causing the increased stress in their home and even blame themselves and withdraw from family life. But the good news is that no matter how difficult the financial times are for your family there are ways that you can increase the bonds that hold your family together and perhaps even draw closer. Here is what you should be doing when family ties are stressed by finances-
Budgeting can be difficult for some people. When you talk about budgeting as a couple in a marriage relationship it generally complicates things. However, your financial future as a couple needs to be secured by sitting down together, making a budget, monitoring it, and sticking to it. Some couples have one person do all the finances and giving the other a spending limit. Some couples do things jointly. Other couples have one person tracking expenses, but talking together over all purchases. However you decide to control the finances in your marriage relationship, making and keeping a budget is key to your financial success as a couple in a marriage relationship. Here's how to get started:
Step #1: Financial Goals.
Money issues have been sited as the number one reason for divorce. Taking a proactive approach when it comes to money issues can save you a lot of heartache and stress. Having a plan, communicating about your money, and mastering your self-control are only the basic ways of preventing money issues. Find what works in your marriage relationship when it comes to preventing money issues and build on it. These tips are designed to help you overcome money problems in a marriage relationship or prevent them to begin with.
Tip #1: Have a plan.
There is perhaps no more explosive topic than the issue of whether or not to loan money to family or friends. In an attempt to avoid this potential minefield many people of means simply make it a policy to never loan money to their nearest and dearest. Other people assume that loaning money will be easier to family and friends sometimes with disastrous results. If you have been approached by a family member or friend about a loan you may be uncertain about whether or not it is a good idea. Before making a final decision read on for how to loan money to family and friends-
If the money is going to be a gift or has undefined repayment terms ("pay me back when you can")-
1. Hand the money over to the other person and walk away. If you are gifting the money to the recipient or have not defined repayment terms you must simply give them the money and then divorce yourself from the whole process. What the recipient spends the money on is now none of your business. Remember nothing creates conflict more in a family or friend relationship than the issue of money. You are only the source of the money not the decision-maker in this process. If you cannot abide by these non-involvement terms than you had better define the amount of money the recipient wants as a loan.
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