Parent child relationships
Name calling-
It is easy as a parent to get in the habit of calling your children names. Often, these names are used as terms of endearment, but can still be damaging. Calling a child a little brat, or a booger, or a stink can subconsciously convince them that they are those things. This can hurt their overall self-image and self-esteem. As a parent it is important to only use terms of endearment that can't be misconstrued by the child, such as sweetheart, darling, love, etc. Or, simply use their name.
There are many families these days with parents who are divorced, or who never married. Often this leads to custody agreements where the child spends the majority of its time with one parent rather than the other. In some cases, a single parent, typically the mother will get full custody. The possible situations are endless. So, what do you do if you have been raising your child by yourself without the support or aid of, or interaction of the child's father, and suddenly they want to be part of their life? Do you let them? Do you tell them no? What is the best options? 
Having a parent that expects a lot from you can be a wonderful thing. It can make you try harder, reach further, and work yourself to the bone to meet your goals. Being the kind of parent that expects a lot from your kids can also be a good thing. However, when that gets taken too far, and the parent is impossible to please, it can have adversely negative effects on the kids. So, whether you are the parent who can't be pleased, or have a parent that can't be pleased consider the following:
Is it right for parents to have favorites? Parents know that they are not supposed to, but sometimes as a parent it can be hard not to, especially if one or more of your children are more difficult to take care of than others. Kids all come with their own unique personalities, and sometimes those personalities do not mesh well with parenting styles. However, most parents know that playing favorites is not good for children's self esteem, or for effective parenting. So what can you do when you genuinely feel like you prefer one of your children to the others?
There are many instances of kids growing up without a father. Sometimes it is due to divorce. Sometimes it is a result of death. Sometimes it is a result of neither, the father is just gone all of the time, or does not act like a father. Having an absentee father can be extremely difficult on a child. They may blame themselves for their father being gone, or worry that they have some share in the responsibility of it. The following is a look at how to handle having an absentee father:
Question: This boy I have liked for a long time asked me to the prom. I was really excited about it, and bought my dress, shoes, etc. My parents wanted to meet him, so I invited him to dinner at my house. When he came he started talking about the plans for after the dance. He mentioned that he had booked a hotel room, and told my dad that he wasn't going to try and sleep with me, but that the prom went late, and he felt it would be safer to stay there then to drive home after. My parents were furious, and asked him why. They accused him of planning to drink, and of planning to take advantage of me. Now he won't take me to the prom. It is in two days, and I don't have a date, and I am very embarrassed. He already gave me my ticket, and I have the dress. Should I just go by myself? I am worried what people will say when he tells them why I did not go with him?
Question: My wife's father died a few years back, and failed to plan for his wife financially after he left. She has no marketable skills, and they were never very good with their money, so she has moved in with us. At first it was great, but now she is always sticking her nose where it doesn't belong. She rearranges the furniture, painted the kitchen without asking, and put together a "TV Schedule" so that we all get to watch our shows without interrupting each other. It is getting really frustrating, even my wife, whose mother it is, can't take much more. What do we do? We can't kick her out, she has no where else to go.
Question: My sister is a terrible parent. She is a wonderful person, but when it comes to taking care of her children she is remiss. I frequently visit and find them in diapers that are way too full, hanging down between their legs, and she doesn't seem to notice. They are often still in their pajamas in the late afternoon. She rarely fixes them sit down meals, rather they fill up on sugary snacks, and drink a lot of juice and soda pop. Her kids are way behind socially and developmentally. I worry about how they will do when they are in school. I think my sister would be very offended if I talked to her about it. I don't want to judge, but her kids need help. They are always filthy, and underfed. The television is their babysitter. Should I talk to her, or notify family services anonymously?
Every person is capable of making a mistake, but when making a mistake or hurting a relationship within a family can be not only devastating, but hard to repair. To redeem yourself or for someone to redeem themselves, is a very important step that is often over looked or shrugged off. Making things right is the key to keeping a healthy relationship between you and your family member, but with the entire family. When a relationship has been damaged, a lot of times, families will become split with whom to support and agree with. Making the waters calm between the families is the key to keeping a family together.
Getting married means that you are going to need to learn how to adjust to a family life style or a married lifestyle, whatever you decide to call it what it means is that you are no longer going to be living the single life. Although the thought of adjusting to a family life sounds terrifying to some it is actually quit an easy task. The biggest difference between family life and single life is that you are now going to be sharing your life with somebody else; you are no longer going to be the most important person in your life. 
One thing that every family comes to realize is that spending time together as a family is important, but what many people don't think about is that everybody in the family needs their own space because they enjoy doing some things by themselves. Spending time alone is not going to hurt your family unit; it is actually going to increase the bond between family members, especially mom and dad. The hard part is trying to get alone time into your schedules because family time is just as important. The best thing that you can do to handle this is to set aside time in the family schedule for everybody to have his or her own activities. If you are a newly married couple without kids, you can dedicate every other Friday as girls or guys night out. 
Having multiple parents on any holiday can be especially challenging for any child. Even those who have grown up in a multi-parent situation continue to struggle with the logistic and emotional issues associated with having more than one mom or dad. Mother's day and father's day are especially challenging as these two holidays are specifically dedicated to parents. So what do you do? Well, every situation has different dynamics and so there is no one answer that we all can dictate our actions from. However, relationship and family experts have provided some guidelines that can help to give you some direction as you decide how to best honor the parents in your life.
