When you have a family that is made up of stepchildren, and not first spouses, then it takes a little extra work to make your family feel like a true family. Sometimes it is easier to do the "your kids" versus "my kids" thing, but the fact is, it is better for the kids to feel accepted by both parents and have a complete family. So, what can you do to make stepchildren feel accepted?
Having multiple parents on any holiday can be especially challenging for any child. Even those who have grown up in a multi-parent situation continue to struggle with the logistic and emotional issues associated with having more than one mom or dad. Mother's day and father's day are especially challenging as these two holidays are specifically dedicated to parents. So what do you do? Well, every situation has different dynamics and so there is no one answer that we all can dictate our actions from. However, relationship and family experts have provided some guidelines that can help to give you some direction as you decide how to best honor the parents in your life.
It's always difficult to be a new step-parent, and it's always difficult to be a new step-kid. Fortunately, enough people have had the experience that quite a few "how to survive and flourish" tips have formed for the benefit of humanity. Let's take a look at some of them.
First, the new step-parent has got to become very used to the process of empathizing with another (albeit smaller) human being. To empathize with someone is to emotionally identify with their emotions, with the difficulties of a particular situation they might be in. In this case, the step-parent is empathizing with the step-kid because (a) the step-kid has just lost a familiar parent, (b) is suddenly having to adjust to a new one, and (c) may, for both these reasons, really be struggling with the whole concept of trust and stability.
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