Confrontation of cool off?
If you and your significant other are having a problem, you have one of two choices. You can confront the situation, and address it head on. Or, you can give yourself a chance to cool off. It can be hard to know which is the best option. Here are some tips for helping you know what to do:
1. Pros and cons: Consider the pros and cons of each situation as it pertains to you. Often confronting the situation is the only way to resolve it, but sometimes your bad mood, or frustration about it can lead to you saying or doing things that you regret later. Often we deal out low blows when we are frustrated and then the problem escalates instead of being solved. So, a good way to handle it is to sit down and take a few moments to create a pros and cons list for yourself on whether or not you should confront the issue of what is bothering you in the relationship, or wait and give yourself and the other party a chance to cool off. A well thought out pro and con list may sound silly, but it can be very effective.
2. Evaluate YOUR personality: For some people waiting to talk about something is best, and for other people, the only way to get over something is to talk about it. You have to evaluate what works best for you in order to make a decision that will work best for your relationship. If waiting means you are going to sit around stewing about it, getting more and more upset, then it is definitely not a good option. However, if you are the kind of person who needs time to simmer down, and collect your thoughts so that your reactions are not totally emotion driven and lead to further problems. Only you can know what will work best for your personality, so ask yourself who you are, and what you want.
3. Take action: Even if you are the cool off first kind of person, it is important that issues in relationships are addressed, or at the very least that changes are made. Letting things go unresolved often turns into letting things fester, which generally results in things coming to a head at some point, and then exploding, which is not usually good. Addressing problems when they are small usually means not having to deal with them after they become mammoth. For example, if a friend blows you off once, and you let them know it bothers you, chances are it won't happen again. However, if they blow you off over and over and you never address it, eventually you might just blow up at them, and could risk the friendship as a result.
Only you can decide whether to confront a situation head on, or wait until you cool off, sometimes the best approach is kind of a mixed one, where you give yourself ten or fifteen minutes to cool off then confront.