Confused relationship
Question: I am really confused by what my relationship means. I am friends with this girl, but we always hold hands when we are out together, and we cuddle while we watch movies. We talk on the phone every day and night, and we never make plans without running it past each other first, but we have never kissed, and don't refer to each other as our significant others. What are we?
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Answer: You are in trouble is what you are. If she will hold your hand, cuddle you, and talk to you on the phone constantly, but wont call you her boyfriend, then she either thinks you are gay, or thinks you are a pushover. If you act like a boyfriend, and aren't one, then you are a fall back plan. You are the one she gets her emotional needs filled by while the other guys out there get to have her as their date, girlfriend, and make out buddy.
What do you want? It seems like you want to be with them as you are already holding hands, and cuddling, and spending all of your time together. So, how come you have not ever taken it to that level.
It is time to have a sit down with this girl and have a DTR. She might be just as confused as you are, or she might be using you. The only way to know is to ask her what she wants to be. If she is willing to hold your hand, and cuddle up to you, then she should be willing to be your girlfriend. If she isn't willing, you need to know why.
There are often a lot of reasons why a girl may not want a boy as her boyfriend, and it has nothing to do with how much she likes him. For example, maybe her parents have told her she can't have boyfriends. Maybe her religion prohibits it. Maybe she is afraid to be pressured into sex. So, take the time to talk to her about it if she is not ready to become bf/gf with you. Just beware of the copout answers that leave you with little commitment, and giving a lot of yourself. For example, the answer, "I don't want to ruin our friendship." This is a copout. A friendship will not last long if it crosses the line between friends and more. So, don't accept an answer like that.
If you are confused about what your relationship is it is because you are allowing it to be confusing. Take a look at the signals, and the signs, and determine what it is. If you are still in the new stages of a relationship, do not press her too quickly, but it sounds like you are already past that, and it is time to step it up to full on, or drop it all together before you get hurt.
