Connecting with your children
Most parents are at least 20 years older than their children, causing some kids to think their parent's ways are outdated and ancient. Once kids hit their teenage years, it can be difficult to find ways to connect with them, but it can be done with a little bit of work, determination, patience, and love. Here are some tips on how you can connect with your children.
Tip # 1 - Love
You can build great relationships with your children by letting them know how much you love them. A child needs to feel loved in order to have a feeling of self-worth. When a child is loved, they are less likely to act out and they are healthier. Make time to tell your children just how much you love them. Write them notes and put them in their backpack or in their bedroom. Every night, give them a hug and tell them you love them. Make your children feel special and happy.
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Tip # 2 - Activities
Spend time getting to know your children. What type of activities do they like to participate in? Can you relate to some of the experiences they are going through? Spend time with your children doing activities you both enjoy. Go to a baseball game together, go to the spa, go hiking. Do things together that will get you out of the home where you can spend some time talking to one another. If you have multiple children, set aside a night each week to spend as one-on-one time with each child.
Tip # 3 - Patience
While you may have had a stressful day, do not take it out on your children. We all have out bad days here and there, but it's up to us to find a way to reduce stress and be happy and cheerful when we are around our children. Have patience when your children when they are rattling your ear off about the activities they did that day. Make time to listen to them and show them you are genuinely interested in their life. If you are frustrated with your children, take a deep breath and do not respond with impatient reactions.
Tip # 4 - Structure
Children thrive in a home that has structure. Without rules, children are free to parent themselves and this doesn't provide a happy home environment for anyone. Surprisingly enough, giving your child chores actually makes them happy. While they may grumble about it sometimes, they understand that it shows them how much you trust them because you are giving them some of your responsibilities. Make sure to thank them for the good work they do once they complete their chores, never punish them with chores, this will cause them to resent you and they may stop doing their chores altogether.
Tip # 5 - Play
One of the best ways to connect with your children is to play with them. Learn how to play some of their games, even if you aren't into sports. Laugh at yourself, this will build a connection with your children as you can look back on fond memories like this. Spend time doing fun activities as a family like playing board games for an entire evening or going to a movie together. Think back to when you were a child and let yourself get loose and run around on a jungle gym with your kids. Go to the park and play Frisbee or fly kites. Playing with your children will build a strong friendship and it helps to keep the two of you connected.
These are just a few tips that may help you connect with your children. If you are struggling still, seek the advice of a family counselor.
