Dating a friend
Have you been friends with someone for a while, and are discovering your feelings may actually run deeper? It is common for friends of the opposite gender to find that they have some deeper feelings. This is one of the reasons the common belief that platonic friendships are a myth exists. However, just because you know you like your friend does not make it easy to do something about it. When you consider dating a friend, all kinds of red flags come up. The biggest is, what will happen to our friendship? The following is a look at some of the pros and cons of dating a friend.
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Pros:
You know you get along. One of the best parts about dating someone you are already friend with is that you have a base for your relationship. You already know you have common interests and that you get along. If you didn't you would not be friends. It often makes relationships easier because you do not have the pressure of trying to figure out what you like together, etc. because it is already established.
You have the same friends. One of the challenges of dating someone is that you often have to meet their friends and family, and either pretend to like them, or find a way to do it. This can be a challenge; especially if their friend set is far different from the group you would choose for yourself. However, when you date someone, you often hang out with his or her friends. One of the beauties of dating a friend is that you have the same friend group, which means much of that challenge is eliminated, or at the least, greatly reduced.
You know about them, good and bad. When dating someone, you often hide some of your crazy for a while until people have the chance to get to know you and like the good parts of you, then you let some of those quirky, bad, or crazy parts show. When you date a friend, you do not have to worry that you will lose them when your crazy shows because chances are, they already know the good, the bad, and the ugly of who you are. They have seen you at your best, and at your worst.
Cons:
The new, get to know one another feelings don't exist. One of the fun parts of dating is the discovery process. The time when you get to know someone, and their every nuance is new to you. When you date someone who is a friend, you already know so much about them. Of course there will be some of the new feelings, like the first time you hold hands, kiss, etc. However, the novelty and newness will not be as poignant, which can take some of the fun out of it.
When things end there could be tension in your friend group. This is the biggest con, the risk of losing a friend, or alienating your friend group. Do the potential rewards outweigh the potential risks? Only you can know.
