Dealing with cliques
Cliques are a natural part of life. They can be extremely frustrating when you are the person that doesn't fit into the clique. This usually happens in elementary school when like-minded kids build relationships with one another. Over the years, the cliques can change a little, but they are still on the school playground when you take your kids to their first day of school. Dealing with cliques can be difficult if you just can't seem to fit into the clique.
Quite often you will know if you are dealing with cliques if you are in social situations and you find that you are sitting alone while a group of people are chatting away and having a good time without asking you if you want to join. Instead of resenting the other people that are chatting away, recognize all the benefits you have of not dealing with the clique.
|
|
Benefit # 1 - No gossip
Cliques are prone to gossip and rumors. If you hate dealing with gossip, be grateful you are not in the clique.
Benefit # 2 - No comparisons
The frustrating part about a clique is that they often seem consumed with being haughty. They will compare their houses to yours or their children to yours. This often puts you in a position of having to defend your lifestyle that you are perfectly happy with.
Benefit # 3 - Real friends
A clique isn't going to offer you the friendships you can find on your own. Instead these people are going to tear you down and just make you feel bad about yourself. Be grateful for the real friends you do have that would walk on water to save your life instead of trying to fit in with the weird mold of being a clique friend.
It can be hard to deal with cliques, especially if they happen at the office. The best thing you can do is stop feeling sorry for yourself. Don't allow the clique to overtake you and consume you with becoming a person that fits in. Just be who you are and be happy about all the things you have accomplished with life. Look for your niche group at the office and make friends with these people.
If you are dealing with cliques in other areas like church or at playgrounds, come up with some interesting things to say. After all, every religion believes in love and acceptance of your neighbors. Realize that you may never fit in with the clique, but at least introduce yourself to them and let them see that you are a person of great worth.
Do not allow the clique to hurt your self-esteem. This can be hard if you just want to be accepted. Instead look for ways to boost your self-esteem. When you are confident and happy with who you are, the clique will take notice of this and they will respect you for this. They may even start talking to you and invite you into their circle.
If you are sitting alone at the lunch table or at the playground, don't sweat it. Bring a book to read at lunch. You can do this at the playground, but the better option is to focus on being a good parent. You are not at the playground to learn about the gossip, you are there for your kids. Play with them and let your kids see just how much you love and care about them.
Another thing you can do is form your own clique that is open to everyone. Look for other people that are sitting alone that look like they just need a friend and invite them to eat lunch with you.
