Timing can cause more conflicts than the original conflict. If you chose to deal with a conflict right before bedtime you are dealing with two tired people and nothing good can come of that. Make sure you are not with your children or other people, conflicts between the two of you, need to be worked out when it's just the two of you around. Do not raise the conflict when you or your spouse is hungry or tired or late for work.

Attitude while discussing a conflict makes a big difference. Make sure you can stay positive during the discussion. All marriages have some problems like in-laws, children, finances or religion differences. Stay positive when you are dealing with these issues. If you both have a positive attitude much of the stress can be alleviated. A negative attitude only adds to the stress and discomfort of the problem.

Respect what your partner has to say, listen to them when they state their feelings and stay calm and positive. Never place blame, you are a married couple; use that for you, not against you. If you can keep rational and calm during the conversation, it will help with getting to the resolution without more conflict. Dealing with a conflict rationally means you aren't going to yell and scream, no name calling, no past issues are brought up. Nobody should feel they are being blamed for the entirety of the conflict. You are a couple; the conflict is both of yours. Work through the issue rationally.

Discuss the issue at hand; don't bring other issues into the discussion. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. You can't control how your partner feels or acts, you can only control your actions and reactions. If you have a feeling about something, check into it. Your partner can't read your mind, say what you mean. When having a discussion, use "I" statements. ("I feel." vs. "You make me feel.") don't place blame on your partner or you. Let them know your thoughts and feelings by stating them clearly. Your partner may not be able to give you everything you need, be prepared to meet your own needs.

Consider your spouse's point of view when trying to reach a compromise. A marriage is like a team, not just one person on the team should have to give in or make all the concessions. Creating a hostile feeling during conflict resolution will make the task daunting in the future. When differences are resolved and each person feels as though their thoughts and feelings were taken into account during the discussion, conflict resolution can be an exciting part of the marriage. Marriage is stressful no matter how many "irreconcilable differences" there are, being able to resolve some of the conflicts makes the partnership stronger. Each conflict resolved is one more step to happiness.