Dealing with divorce
No one starts a marriage thinking that it will end in divorce. We all hope we have made a good decision with the person we choose to marry. It seems that everyone you talk to has come from a broken home or they have been divorced at least once. Here are some sad statistics on divorce in America:
- The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
- The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
- The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
Everyone knows that keeping a marriage together is not an easy task. Some people get married too young; others are too selfish, while some couples just can't seem to work through the difficult problems they will face. Couples that have children together have a lower divorce rate, but this number is starting to increase even more. Currently about 66 percent of divorced couples do not have children. Sociologists have conducted studies that found that couples without children had a sense of loneliness and weariness in the marriage and the two individuals grew apart quickly.
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When a couple makes the decision to get divorced, they will be impacting the lives of several different people. Not just their future changes, their children's future will be altered, as will the future of their siblings and friends.
Everyone is hurt by divorce, no one wants to see two people that were once in love fall out of love and go their separate ways. Sadly divorced individuals tend to withdraw from family activities and their grandparents are the ones that suffer the most. On average, a divorced individual will see their grandparents once every five years.
This is a huge gap compared to when they are married and they will see that at least one time a year.
Divorce can be a shock to a group of friends as they are suddenly forced to make the decision which person to choose. Their plans for outings and even date nights are now shattered and they are forced to look for a new couple to do things with or spend time with each person on a one-on-one basis. Most couples that end their marriages do not think about all the people around them and the way it will impact their lives. Friends are put in a no-win situation. Families usually rally behind their blood, but it can be hard for them if they grew close to the spouse.
A common mistake couples make is having more children to "save" the marriage. Bringing children into a home where love is not present will hurt the child. You are not doing yourselves any favors by having more children and you are really hurting your children's futures.
Before anyone chooses to end their marriage, they need to give it one last try. Think back to the days when you first met your spouse and the love you shared for one another. Look for ways to rekindle this love through dating one another again. Find ways to hold strong to your spouse and lean on them to get through the rough times. No one has a perfect marriage, it does not exist. Even the happiest couples on the planet need to spend time making their marriage work. You are two different people and it takes time, sacrifice, patience, and love to make your marriage work.
Always seek the advice of a marriage counselor before you give up on your spouse. Talk to your spouse, not to your friends, about the state of your marriage. Remember that it is the two of you that built the marriage and it is up to the two of you to save it and keep it strong.
