So, when it comes to marriage, the problem is that when you see jealousy you have mixed feelings, on one hand you want to condemn the abhorrent behavior exhibited by the jealous partner while on the other hand you might be able to sympathize.

However, the fact is, jealousy is not something you should experience, especially in a healthy marriage. It is not an innate feeling that we are all born with; rather it is a learned response that people have developed in order to deal with certain situations. In a healthy relationship there are better ways to express emotions then jealousy. In a marriage you should be more secure with yourself and your partner then to need to get jealous.

People get jealous for a multitude of reasons, none of which are very healthy in a marital relationship. They might have low self esteem; they have been rejected or betrayed in the past and harbor worries of a repeat experience; they may feel insecure about their body or looks; and the list goes on. So, while jealousy can be a way of showing deep emotional ties to a person and a relationship, it is best to understand why it occurs and how to help your spouse not feel this way so that you will have a healthier, happier relationship.

First and foremost, jealousy should not be confused as a sign of love. It is not, in fact, it can be the opposite.

Secondly, you have to help yourself and your spouse understand that when people exhibit jealous rages, they are only destroying the relationship they are trying to save.

Third, you have to understand that being jealous will further lower your self respect because it causes you to stoop to the lowest of acts. So, not only do you ruin your relationship but also damage yourself.

So, as you can see, jealousy has too many negatives to ever be considered positive. So, help your spouse feel loved. Make sure they are secure in the relationship because of the way you act, talk, interact, and show love for one another. A jealous person usually just wants to keep the relationship intact, but their intentions are misguided.
Make sure you have open the lines of communication so that if you or your spouse experience jealousy the other can explain why it is unfounded and should not be the case.

Next you have to strengthen your relationship so that these feelings of insecurity do not creep up and rear their ugly head in the form of jealousy. Instead of forcing the relationship, take the time to bond, to find common ground, and to grow the love that is necessary and the feelings of worth and security that dispel jealousy.

And last but not least, if your spouse is acting jealous, do not get drawn in to petty jealousy arguments, do not retaliate, do not take any blame, do not let the freak outs get to you, instead be calm until they pass, then reassure your spouse you love them.