With families spread so far apart now, it isn't realistic to expect that your family will be around all the time. Cousins may only be able to get together once a year, depending on schedules and grandparents may spend more time getting to know their grandchildren by phone conversations and pictures of their activities than by seeing them face to face. Millions of children grow up every day without having extended family around and yet they still have an understanding of the importance of family and relationships.

There is also the possibility that even though your relatives live nearby, you have chosen not to stay close with them for one reason or another. Internal feuds between family members can cause stress on an entire clan and if you're in the middle of one, you may choose not to have your children be involved. Family members should be able to provide a good role model for children but if you have relatives that have strayed from the core beliefs you were raised with, it may be best to keep your family separate until you can talk with that person and find a solution for your differences.

If you are lucky enough to live close to your relatives, encourage your immediate family and especially children to spend time with them. Families offer a safe and supportive environment for children to grow and learn. It offers a feeling of security that there are more responsible adults surrounding them that are available to help whenever they need something. The many different influences, experiences and wisdom of extended family can help guide children, and especially teenagers in the right direction and teach them values that will help them throughout their lives.

Extended family members helped to shape you into the person you are today and they are extremely beneficial for your children. What would happen to your child if you died? If they have a close relationship with their extended family, they will be able to keep you alive in their heart. They also will need to lean on their extended family for love and support and this is only done if you help them strengthen the relationships with their relatives. Host parties once a month or twice a year so your children can spend time with their extended family. This will teach them the importance of family and why you need each other.

It's not necessary to have extended family near you to be a good parent. There are many bright and well rounded children who only know their relatives by pictures, voice and the stories you've told over the years, but don't be afraid to use them if they are close. Families and friends can be the greatest support system for you and your children. We rely on the merits of strangers too often to raise our children and having a willing grandparent or aunt who will spend time with them is a blessing that you should take full advantage of.