Effective conflict resolution skills
Any time that there is a conflict among people, it is very important to find the proper resolution. Although this statement seems rather obvious it is amazing how many people do not find resolutions to their conflicts, they simply suppress their anger or just fake their way through being friendly. These people tend to think that if they even bring up the conflict they are going to create another conflict, so when they are upset they just stay quiet, which isn't healthy at all.
However, even if you are going to try to resolve a conflict with a friend, coworker, or loved one, it can be quite tricky. The reason for this is that if handled improperly any attempts at conflict resolution can actually make the conflict worse. Here are some guidelines that you can follow to help make conflict resolution easier and less stressful, which is especially handy if you were not brought up in a household, were conflict resolution skills were modeled on a regular basis.
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Number one: Get in touch with your feelings
One of the most important aspects of conflict resolution involves only you, which knows how you feel and why you feel that way. Most people think that how they feel should already be obvious to them, but that is not always the case. Many times, we can feel angry or resentful, but we do not know the cause of those feelings. In other cases, we think that another person should be doing something differently, but we are not aware of exactly what we want from them or if the request is even reasonable. What you need to do is to learn how to be in touch with your feelings so you can understand why you are angry or what you wanted from the other person. A great way to get started in getting in touch with your feelings is through journaling.
Number two: Hone your listening skills
When it comes to conflict resolution, not only do we have to be able to express our feelings, but we also have to be able to listen effectively. In conflict, resolution it is vital that we understand the other person's perspective, doing this will allow us to come to a resolution. Studies have shown that just making the other person feel heard and understood can go a long way towards the resolution of the conflict. If you have good listening skills that can also help to bridge the gap between the two of you because you will be able to understand where they are coming from and get a clear picture of what is going on. Most people cannot actively listen because when they think they are listening they are actually forming their next response or doing something else. If this is your case, you need to practice being an active listener.
Number three: Practice assertive solution
Being able to communicate effectively is another important aspect of conflict resolution. As you know, saying the wrong thing can actually make the conflict worse, so you have to practice being a great communicator. You will want to say what is on your mind, but when doing so you want to do it in a clear and assertive manner. You do not want to be aggressive or put the other person on the defensive. One great way to do this is to say things about how you feel rather than what the other person is doing wrong; you want to use "I feel" statements.
Number four: Seek a solution
Once you understand their side of the story and they understand your perspective on things it is time to find a resolution to your conflict, which needs to be a solution that you can both live with. Many times a simple solution will present itself once everybody understands what is going on, but sometimes a little more work is going to be required. You might need to agree to disagree or find some kind of middle ground. You also need to be able to tell when your conflict resolution skills are not working and it is best to cut off all ties with the person.
