We are going to look at the idea of eliminating gossip from your friendships. We will look at why it is important and how you can go about doing it. After you read this, you might find that it is something worth sharing with your friends next time you talk, instead telling them that you heard your neighbor is getting a divorce.

Why you should eliminate gossip from your friendships

Think about it, you call your friend Terry to tell them that your mutual friend Chris is thinking about leaving their spouse. Terry knows that you are friends with Chris, and you say that you heard from another friend of Chris's. Terry hasn't heard anything, and so doesn't believe you right away. When Terry hangs up the phone, the thought starts going through their mind, "If my friend will say things like that about another friend, what are they willing to say about me?"

If you are confused let me clear it up, if you are willing to gossip about one friend, why should any of your other friends trust you? Establishing is a huge part of being friends, but gossip has a way of weakening that trust. Now if Chris had told you that they were going through a divorce and they could use yours and Terry's help, then passing on the news would be totally different.

When you aren't spending your conversation gossiping, you have more time to build others up. Sharing the good things that have happened, and that are not coming through the grapevine, are not gossip and can be good to share.

You just might find that you have more friends when you aren't gossiping. When friends enjoy talking to you and spending time with you, they are going to tell others about you and let you meet their other friends. When your friendships grow, you can't help but smile more.

How to eliminate gossip from your friendships

Be in the right mindset. If you are thinking positive when you are talking with friends, then you aren't even going to consider sharing things that will take away from that feeling. Your positive attitude is contagious, when you aren't gossiping then your friends won't feel the need to either.

If you feel like you just have to share something, share good news. You should know that it is true and that the person wants others to know. For instance, letting friends know that another friend is having a baby or that they sold their home is not derogatory or degrading. Good news is always fun to hear!

Try reverse gossip. You might have to put effort in at first, but it will come naturally after a while. What is reverse gossip? It is sharing with friends information about other friends that builds them up. An example would be, "Doesn't Bailey look great? The exercise is really taking the pounds off!" If it were to get back to Bailey that you had said that, they would feel good about you and not offended that you were sharing.