Flirty father-in-law
Question: I have been married for just over two years now, and my in-laws are starting to become a problem. I do not have the typical problem though. It is not my mother in law that is the problem, it is my father in law. He is great, but he is really touchy feely. He is always hugging me, putting his arms around me, and even kissing my face. I am glad he accepts me, but it makes me uncomfortable. What should I do?
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Answer: You say you have been married two years, so was the father in law an issue before this? Or is your patience just up? Our advice: If your father in law has always been super friendly, touchy feely, it is probably just the way he is. So if it makes you uncomfortable, then make it more difficult for him to be so touchy. Do things like carry things in with you so that your arms are not available to be hugged. Wear a hat, that makes kisses harder. Keep your sunglasses on, or do other things that will make you less accessible, such as wear more clothes.
Of course this is not going to do enough to keep him from giving you hugs, so if you want to stop the problem, you have to say something. This is likely to be awkward since you have been part of his family for two years, and haven't said anything to this point. So, maybe mention it to your husband, or your mother-in-law and ask them to clue him in to your discomfort. He probably does not want to make you uncomfortable, so a word to clue him in will really help.
If this is a new thing, there could be several things that could be the cause. Maybe your father in law is going through some sort of mid-life crisis and they are trying to prove to themselves that they still have it. Maybe they are worried that you are not feeling accepted and loved in the family, and so they are trying to show you how much they care. Maybe you just look good to them, and they are an old pervert. The fact is, the only way to know is to ask, and one of the only sure ways to get it to stop short of avoiding them is to ask them to stop.
So, let them know that you think they are great, but that it makes you uncomfortable to be so physical. You may feel that way because your family does not show affection that way, or because it crosses a line. But, you have to tell your flirty father in law that it is flattering, but not welcome, and that you would like them to stop.
It might be uncomfortable or awkward, so once again, consider letting your mother in law or husband know instead and ask them to do something to stop it.
