As we go about our daily lives, we are subconsciously observing, comparing, categorizing, and ranking other people, including our friends. Conflict happens between friends when there is one title, position, accolade or even object that both friends want but only one friend can have. Friendships are not broken every time competition is introduced. There are many times when a friendship goes through a number of different competitive circumstances and still keeps their relationship intact. However, there are other friends who simply cannot bear the burden of a conflict and lose their friendship because of it.

For the most part, friends have similar interest, goals, and aspirations. Competition can exist harmoniously because it is rare that both friends have a goal in mind that can only be attained by one person. Most friends with to excel at work and may compete with each other over how quickly or the method by which they do this, but unless they are in direct conflict for the same position, the completion strengthens the bond of the relationship rather than tearing it apart.

Competition is not always the most obvious of motivators. A friendship can become strained if there is one individual in the relationship who seemingly always succeeds, while the other friend never seems to get their turn in the spotlight. Feelings of resentment can result from competition but may be perceived more as jealousy rather than a consequence of competition. Friendship and competition are especially prevalent during high school years when youth are struggling to define who they are and what their place is in the world. In adolescence, competition exists in academics, athletics, social standing, or popularity and even in romance and relationships.

Healthy and happy friendships can exist when friends compete for these positions against other individuals. But when two friends are in direct completion for something like the same boy friend, things can get ugly and friendships can be lost. Heightened emotional states and a weakly developed sense of perspective make adolescence a hard time for friendship and competition. Some individuals continue to carry the struggle between friendship and competition into adulthood.

In the end, we all need competition. The effects that competition will have on our friendships will be largely determined by how each individual handles conflict and what value they place on that friendship. Weak friendships may not be able to withstand direct completion. But a life-long friendship has a greater ability to weather the storms of competition. Competition between friends can be viewed as either a strengthening experience or a hurdle to overcome. There will be times when we hope for the success of our friends and other times when we hope for the result of the competition to end in our favor. Regardless, even broken friendships can be mended and a renewal found if competition gets the best of us.