Friendships gone bad

perparingforboxing33338232.jpgSometimes friendships just go bad. There occasionally comes a point when it seems like a friendship is more work then it is worth. Or, that each time you spend time with your "friend" you leave it feeling down, bad about yourself, or like you have had a real energy drain. This is a sign that the friendship is starting to sour, and here are some tips for how to handle it:

1. Identify what the real problem is. Ask yourself a few pointed questions. Ask yourself how you feel after seeing, spending time with, or talking to your friend. Then ask yourself why it is you feel that way? What is it that they are doing that has made you feel negatively? If you can't identify the problem, then you can't solve it, or save a friendship from going bad. Take time to evaluate the situation, and friendship carefully. Often, conclusions that seem the most obvious, or reached in too much of a hurry are incorrect. Give yourself time to recognize the real source of the problem. Has your friend lost a lot of weight, or changed their appearance a lot recently? Are you jealous? Are you insecure about yourself? Are they jealous or insecure about you? There are a lot of potential reasons for a friendship going bad, and the sooner you figure out the one related to your specific problem, the better chance you have of fixing it.

2. Decide if it is a solvable problem. Only you can know if it is a solvable problem. If you are jealous of them, for example, you have to determine if it is something you can get over, or if you need to avoid the person. If they are rude, you have to ask if that is something they might change, or if you are going to be stuck with their insensitive and often pointed comments. When a friendship starts going bad, you basically have to decide if you want to fix it or let it go. Sometimes it can't be fixed, and this is the stage where you identify that..

3. Discuss the problem with your friend, and do what you can to remedy the situation or leave it without burning a bridge. If you let a friendship sour too much, it can turn rancid, and ugly. Then instead of losing a friend, you basically create an enemy. This is not an ideal situation. So, let it peter out, but just not calling and hanging out as much, or have a sit down with your friend and try to work out the problems and fix the friendship. What you do is up to you, but keep in mind that respect, listening, and willingness to compromise go a long way in fixing relationships of all kinds, including friendships gone sour.

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