Getting to Know Your Spouse Better
Once a couple is married, daily responsibilities can work against them and make their marriage difficult. With all the pressures of daily living, it can make some people forget why they fell in love. Some people are left looking at their spouse as a complete stranger and they do not know how to fix their marriage. Half of all marriages end in divorce. If you want to avoid becoming a statistic, you need to find ways to get to know your spouse better. Here are some tools that may help you get to know your spouse better:
The best way to get to know your spouse is to spend time with them. Marriage experts suggest having a weekly date night or to have at least a monthly date night with your spouse. Date nights will allow you to get out of the house, away from distractions, and get to know your spouse better. Schedule in time and make sure to stick to it. While you are on your date night, try to avoid talking about work, money, and your children. Try to stick to other topics like your interests, dreams, goals, and other things that may be interesting to your spouse.
If you are unable to go on a weekly date night, plan some time to be alone with your spouse for at least an hour each day. Get up earlier or go to bed later and spend time talking to your spouse. You can even do activities together like reading a book together. Each of you should take turns reading aloud from the book and then discuss the book together. This will allow you both to learn new things and you can both share things about the book that you found interesting.
Surprise your spouse with a vacation or a weekend getaway. Take this time to avoid all the daily distractions and just spend it alone with your spouse. Attend events together like concerts, symphonies, sporting events, and operas. You will be able to talk about the show together and build memories with your spouse.
Create a list of all the things you enjoy doing like waterskiing, canoeing, hiking, etc. Then, have your spouse create a list of all the things they enjoy doing. Once you both have your lists complete, start doing those things together. If your husband enjoys playing video games, spend an hour playing with him. If your wife enjoys watching musicals, watch one with her. You don't always have to love what your spouse does, but it will help you appreciate them more. You are also showing your spouse respect because you are acknowledging them as an individual.
No one enjoys doing household chores. One way to help your spouse is to create a list of all the household chores that need to be done. The two of you can divide up the chores and complete them together. Doing chores together will allow you some free time to talk to your spouse and you can share things about yourself. It is important to look at your spouse's daily life and see what you can do to make their life easier. Do something for your spouse without expecting anything in return. Successful marriages are built upon being selfless. If your husband normally mows the lawn, give him the week off and mow it for him. If your wife normally vacuums the house, vacuum it for her while she is out. Finding simple things to do will show your spouse that you appreciate them. It will make your marriage easier and both partners will be satisfied.
It is easy to get caught up in daily routines. One way to spend time getting to know your spouse better is to start telling your spouse something new about yourself each day. Have your spouse tell you something about them in return. This can be simple things like you like to have the bed made or you like your ice cream in a cup instead of on a cone. The more you share, the more you and your spouse can open up to each other and you will learn more about your best friend. You will learn things about your spouse and find out different things you have in common that you may not have know before.
Successful marriages are built on laughter and communication. Set aside some time each week to play with your spouse. Have a game night and play old board games that you used to enjoy when you were a child. Do a question and answer game where you ask your spouse questions like "What would you do if you had a million dollars?" Question and answer games can help you get a look into your spouse's mind and their though process. Every marriage needs time to laugh, which is why a game night is a great idea for anyone looking to add some fun to their marriage.
One of the best ways to get to know your spouse better is to ask them how you can be a better husband or wife. Truly take this time to listen to what they say. Do not be insulting to your spouse by cutting them down for their behavior or mannerisms. You should give them an honest answer as to what you need. For women, this could mean you need more attention or that you want to go out more. For men, this could mean you want your wife to show you more respect and appreciation. Think about what you really need and let your spouse know.
A simple way to get to know your spouse better is to listen to them. If they come home and complain about their workday, don't offer advice unless they ask for it. Actually sit there and listen to what they are saying. Non-verbal communication like nodding will reassure your spouse that you are actually listening to them.
Just because you live with someone does not automatically mean you will know everything about them. Go back to when you and your spouse were dating, remember the questions you had in your mind about this person? You wanted to know everything about them to see if you had things in common. Now that you are married doesn't mean all those questions you had are answered, in fact you probably have more questions. Start asking your spouse those questions. You can expand them and ask them why they were attracted to you and how they knew they were in love with you. Spend time everyday talking to your spouse and asking them a new question.
A fun activity to do with your spouse is to do things with them that you have never done before. This can be simple things like trying new foods like sushi or it can be large things like skydiving. Whatever it is you decide, make sure it is something you both want to do and make sure to have a good time. Laugh and smile together and talk to one another again. One activity that is perfect for married couples is dancing lessons. They are fun and inexpensive. Dancing on its own is a romantic activity and it allows you to spend time with your spouse in a close proximity. The two of you can enjoy wonderful music and talk to one another as you dance your way around the room. Dancing also helps a couple develop a connection through their movements. Dancing is a wonderful way to interact with your spouse and you can do it in the comfort of your own home. Several marriage counselors actually suggest dancing lessons because each spouse needs to learn their individual role and then put it together with their spouse's role, similar to marriage. Dancing also requires both partners to look at the physical cues and verbal instructions from their spouse. The best part about dancing is that you can both laugh and find a way to enjoy your time together.
Another great way to get to know your spouse better is to surprise them at the office. Take them out to lunch when they aren't expecting it and enjoy some alone time. You can even take a day off work and spend it with your spouse. Don't plan anything on this day, just go out and do whatever it is you both want to do. Even taking a drive together can help a couple learn more about each other and it helps to strengthen their bond.
No matter what it is important to remember that your spouse is your best friend. You need to talk them about anything and everything. If you are having problems, talk to your spouse. They are there to help you and support your. How can you expect your spouse to know what is bothering you if you do not tell them? People are not mind readers and no one thinks exactly alike. Always put your marriage before your work and other commitments. Honor the commitments you made to your spouse on your wedding day and don't give them a reason to question your trust.