Getting toddlers to play nice
We often tell our toddlers to play nice. All parents want their children to play nice, but sometimes that is like asking them to turn the world over. Toddlers are just learning to share and socialize. So, how can you help your toddler to play nice?
Show them instead of telling them how to play nice and take turns. Example is key!! When toddlers are fighting over the same toy, help them to take turns, while waiting turns find another toy for the child that is waiting and praise, praise, praise. Praise both children, one for waiting their turn and the other for sharing when their turn is up.
Let's look at an example: being a Grandmother, I have my grandchildren two to three days per week. Their ages are three and six. The six year old is a boy and the three year old is a girl. My six year old grandson just loves to tease his sister and he really has a hard time sharing. I have found that setting a timer for them to take turns works really well and even turns the fights into a fun game at times. When the timer goes off they each know that it is the other child's turn. Setting the timer has also taught patience on the children's part and also makes wanting the same toy not such a big deal after all and it doesn't seem to matter much to them anymore.
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It is also effective to teach your children to play with the same toy together, this way they learn cooperation. Examples of playing with the same toy could be playing with a ball, throwing it back and forth. Fun is the day when these children learn their parts in getting along.
When we use time out to help our children learn to play nice, it is really effective to make sure they both go to time out for fighting and each gets out of time out when the apology is given.
Toddlers learn so much from their parents, siblings, friends etc. When they see parents share and work together and cooperate they learn from it, we are their biggest influence. Patience on our part is also key, thus speaking calmly and patiently as we try to work through their trials of trying to play nice is essential.
Children are so smart, and they feel comfort in knowing that we care about the way they interact and their well being. Helping children set goals on playing nice and giving rewards when they do so is a good way to help children from toddlers to teens play nice. It is also important to praise the older child or children for being such a good example for the smaller children or child. Talk to them about their role. Help them understand what a great big brother or sister they are.
Let your children know how great the day is because of the way they are interacting.
Taking a break time is also good way to help your toddlers play nice. Sometimes children need a break from trying to play together especially if they are penned up in the same house all day. Taking one child to a friend's house or cousin's house can give them the much needed time out from each other. Often times this break is needed to help them be able to control the need to fight.
Children often just worry about themselves and their own feelings and not the feelings of other children. Teaching our children by roll play can help with learning how another child may feel by the way they are treating the other child. Again I come back to them just learning to socialize with others and learning to play nice. If a child just can't play nice, remove the child from the play time and allow them to go back to play when they feel they understand what they need to do to play nice.
Give children time to learn without the impatience that can make them feel like they are a bad child, give them the positive reinforcement that every child needs to grow and nourish. Telling the children how proud you are of them as they do the right things. Remember children are learning from our actions and behaviors. Give them what they emotionally need and they will learn what you are trying to teach them. If your children do not have siblings, taking them to play with other children helps them in this learning process of interacting, playing nice and social skills.
Thank goodness for children and all that they teach us.
