Tip one:
If you are starting to get overly emotional when talking to your spouse you are probably going to start raising your voice, so instead of raising your voice focus on lowering your voice. Raising your voice usually causes tempers to flare up and things can quickly get out of control. Lowering your voice can break the pattern of tempers escalating, which usually results in loud yelling. Your spouse will probably ask you what you are doing or why you lowered your voice, so when they do tell them that you read that lowering your voice is a way to defuse anger. Hopefully, upon hearing that they will decide to try it out too.

Tip two:
If your spouse won't talk to you can try writing them a letter or email that tells them how you feel, what you want them to do or ask them any questions that you might have. If you do write them a letter or an email you are going to want to make sure that you include how them not being willing to talk about issues or help to resolve the issues is affecting you. When telling them how them not talking about the issues at hands affects you, you will need to also present some type of solution to the problem. This will help open up a potential conversation about whether they agree with the solution or if they have a better idea.

Tip three:
Buy a greeting card that has some kind of humor to it. Inside the greeting card, include a note asking if you can schedule a time to talk about some stuff so that you will not be interrupted. Some people have an easier time talking over dinner or breakfast, but you still don't want to discuss serious issues in public. When you are talking over dinner or breakfast, you can arrange to sit down again and talk about issues that are more private. Along with the card, you can give your spouse their favorite candy bar or chewing gum or some other small token. This will show that you pay attention to what they like or don't like.

Tip four:
When you were little you probably sent notes to your friends that had check yes or no options, well you can use that same note on your spouse. You can write down all of your questions on a sheet of paper and include boxes next to each question. You will need to include yes or no boxes, an undecided box, and a needs more details box. When writing down your questions includes as many details as you can, the more specific you are the better your spouse will be able to understand what you are asking of them.

Tip five:
Offer to do something for your spouse in exchange for something else. For example, you can offer to take the kids to a movie so your spouse can spend time with their friends or do something else that they couldn't do with the kids around. In exchange for that, you and your spouse get to sit down and talk about some serious issues that are coming up in your relationship, make sure that the time is uninterrupted. What you want to do is to make it a creative trade off, so that you both get something great out of the deal.