Giving something up for your spouse
Sometimes in marriage you have to give something you love or hold to up in order to make your spouse happy, and make your marriage successful. While many people do not understand why giving something up would make your marriage work better, it has significant effects on the health of your relationship.
How marriage works: Marriage is a union where you combine two different people, personalities, interests, etc. and try to make them work together. Sometimes the meshing of ideals, etc. is really easy, other times not so much.
However, in every marriage there are going to be some differences of opinions. Some bigger than others. Some are not going to matter very much, and others can be a deciding factor in whether or not the marriage works.
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Why we sometimes have to give something up: There are times in life when the thing that makes us happy is not serving the whole well. For example, a husband who loves to gamble may see nothing wrong with some recreational gambling on the weekends. However, if gambling goes against the moral fiber of his wife, and she sees it as a wasteful use of their money, it can create a big fight in the marriage. This means that he has to ask himself if his recreation is worth the price of his marriage? Sometimes we have to give something up because it will strengthen our relationships to do so.
Examples:
There are countless examples, some common ones include:
Pornography: Many men who look at pornography will find that their wives are not very pleased by it, and that it can cause insecurities in her. So, it becomes the question of whether or not you are willing to give that up. Which do you like more?
Addictions: There are addictions of many kinds, shopping, alcohol, food, exercise, etc. When you have an addiction it often takes away from your ability to have strong relationships, and thus giving them up can strengthen your marriage.
Boys night or girls night: This can take away from family time, or the moments you spend together as a couple.
How it improves and helps the relationship:
- It leaves your spouse feeling important. If you give up something important to you in order to strengthen your marriage you are effectively telling your spouse, "I love you more than _______________." If they are at all questioning your love for them, this gesture is going to speak volumes to them, because they are probably very certain about how you feel about whatever it is you give up for them.
- It shows your commitment to the relationship. When you are willing to make changes it shows that you are committed to making your marriage work, and shows that your relationship is something that is important to you.
- It inspires other positive changes. If you give up something important to you in order to make your marriage better, there is a good chance your spouse will respond in kind. This is a matter where you do something nice, and they do something nice in return. It can only improve your marriage.
