Having children is a blessing in a marriage, but without putting your spouse first, you will have a child-centered marriage. When a couple devotes all of their time to their children, they exclude their individual needs, causing some people to lose their identities. In order to keep the marriage strong and healthy, the couple needs to have regular private conversations without the children.

The couple needs to spend time together doing fun activities without the children. Can you remember the last time you went on a date? Going out without the children will help the couple reconnect and share some quality time together. Your children need to look at their parents as two people that genuinely love each other, not just as their Mom and Dad.

Children actually like to see their parents spend time with one another as it reassures them that their parents love each other. Seeing this affection is very comforting to children that have friends whose parents are divorced. Parents often feel guilty about leaving their children at home with a babysitter. Guilt-ridden parents need to understand that spending time as a couple is a blessing to their children. Their children need to see their parents spending quality time as a couple as it will teach them that good relationships are rewarding.

A common marital problem is over-scheduling the activities you and your children are involved in. While some commitments demand your time and energy, you can do without a few extra activities. How many extracurricular activities are your children involved in? Avoid over-scheduling your children, as this will cause additional stress in their lives and yours. Children need time to just be kids and have fun. Make sure that your schedule includes time for your spouse, not just your children and all the activities you are involved in. Your alone time may not get all the time it truly deserves, but it is better than nothing.

Parents need to find time to be intimate with one another. Children should understand that when the bedroom door is closed, they need to knock. Spend time together in the evening and in the morning before the children are awake. Try getting up 15 minutes before the children and enjoy eating breakfast together. Talk to one another during this time when you are free from interruptions. Spending intimate time together will strengthen your marriage and show your spouse that you are still attracted to them and that you deeply love them.

Giving your marriage time and respect without children
Currently over half of marriages end in divorce, couples need to find time to re-connect with one another if they expect to stay married. It is important to honor your commitment to your marriage. Trust and respect go hand in hand with marriage. Even though you are a couple, you still need to find time to be yourself. It is critical to remember that you are individuals as well as a couple. You need to socialize with other couples and relate with others that are in similar situations as your marriage.

One of the best ways to connect with your spouse is to turn off the television and spend time talking to your spouse. The two of you will be able to re-discover some of the things that initially attracted you to your spouse. Talk about your dreams and desires. If you used to do things when you were dating like hiking and biking, suggest that activity to your spouse. Although your spouse may not enjoy it, it is still important for you to both spend time doing what your spouse likes to do so they can be their own person. If it looks like your spouse is not having fun, suggest another activity. Finding similar activities you enjoy together can help the marriage stay strong.

A marriage needs time and effort by both spouses. It is unrealistic to expect one spouse to spend all of their time working on the marriage and the other spouse spends time when it is convenient for them. Your marriage is your number one priority and it needs to come before your job and other commitments. Schedule in time for your spouse; make time to take your spouse out on a date. Surprise them with a date to a concert, sporting event, symphony, or whatever it is your spouse enjoys.

One of the most important things to do in a marriage is to show your spouse respect. You should not expect respect from your spouse if you are un-willing to give it to them. You are their best friend and they come to you for advise, comfort, and love. If they are stressed about something, ask them about it. Don't offer advice unless they ask for it. It is more important to listen to them and let them talk. Regardless of your spouse's performance, you need to show them respect. A husband's greatest need is love and respect from his wife. They do not need their wife to tell them that they are not working hard enough or that they can do better. They need their support as it will help them work harder on its own.

The greatest need for women is love. Husbands need to love their wives. When a woman is lashing out and acting irrational, it is often because she does not feel loved and she is not receiving the attention she needs. If your wife is acting this way, you need to recognize that you need to spend time talking and listening to her. You need to tell her you love her and surprise her with a romantic evening and truly show her how much you appreciate her in your life.

Working together to build a marriage
Take a trip down memory lane together and spend time talking about the reasons why you fell in love. Thinking back over all the good times in your marriage will help keep the fire alive in your marriage. Never have an argument without resolving it. Once the argument has been resolved, move forward and leave it in the past. Arguments need to be forgotten because they can easily blot out hundreds of special memories you have created together.

A marriage needs time to be carefree and fun. Spend time together laughing; it breaks down any tension you or your spouse may be feeling. Do activities together that make you laugh. Having fun with your spouse will help remind you of how much you love them and why they make you happy.

Over time it is easy to get trapped in routines. Break free from the cycle and do things that make your marriage exciting. Schedule vacations together and just relax. Try to avoid planning too many activities on your vacation and truly spend time talking to your spouse.

A simple way to give your marriage time and respect is to create a list of all the qualities you admire in your spouse. Read this list to your spouse and thank them for these qualities. You can thank them periodically throughout the day for some of these qualities. Never let the little things they do go unnoticed. Look at the small things they do that makes your life easier and show them your appreciation.

Surprise your spouse with small gifts, love notes, and other things that shows them how much you truly care about them. If you and your spouse are struggling, seek the advice of a marriage counselor. Marriage counseling isn't only for marriages that are having troubles; it can be for anyone that ways to maintain a happy, healthy marriage. A marriage counselor can teach you both how to listen and talk to one another. They can help the couple break down walls that may be hindering the marriage.

The most important thing you can do in a marriage is to spend time with your spouse. Take the television and other things out of your life and talk to your spouse. Find out how they are doing and tell them you love them. Do something nice for them, even if it is something small like taking out the garbage or washing the dishes. If you have 10 minutes on your lunch break, call your spouse and tell them you love them. Send them an email and express your gratitude. Simple reminders of your love will help keep the marriage strong and rewarding for both spouses.